A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving

I AM THANKFUL FOR...

1. MY KITTY! <3
2. Support from my parents.
3. My lovely little apartment.
4. My amazing friends near and far.
5. The School of Dance community at ASU. 6. My DUCK & COVER dancers.
7. My big famiglia.
8. Shows like Parks & Rec for keeping me smiling.
9. My doctors who have helped me out over the past couple of years.
10. Feeling like I have things to look forward to in the future--my transition project, graduating, moving to New York, etc.




Happy Thanksgiving!

Awake at 2 AM

Why do people think I'm capable of pulling off even the most basic of human tasks? I'm seriously drowning here. And not like normal-end-of-the-semester drowning, but like I've-fucked-everything-up-for-the-millionth-time drowning. Isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same behavior over and over again expecting different results?? Clearly I've gone insane because I keep doing the same shit repeatedly and expect things to change. And of course they never do. I'm never going to graduate. I'm never going to get a job. My senior project is a mess. I'm never going to make it out of this stagnant place that I'm in. I can't do anything. I really wish people would understand that.

And on top of everything, I can't sleep. I've got a full day tomorrow of class, rehearsal, and a paper to write. I'm exhausted but I can't fall asleep. Oh well. Tomorrow will just be one more thing that I fuck up.

Katy's Favorite Autumn Music, Vol. 1

Autumn, by Sylvia Ji







1) Nickel Creek--"Scotch and Chocolate"
I listen to pretty much anything by Nickel Creek during autumn, but this is one of my favorites. And this video was apparently one of their last unplugged sessions before they broke up. TOO MUCH AMAZING, seriously. I love watching musicians who are so genuinely skilled like this.

2) Nickel Creek--"When in Rome"
My requisite autumn song. Plus they all look like a buncha studs in this video.

3) Anything by The Roaring Girl Cabaret
She rocks! And her music is delicious. I particularly enjoy "Passion Play" (lots of Shakespeare references!), "Sweet By and By," and her cover of "L'Amour Est Un Oiseau Rebelle" from Carmen.

4) Temper Trap--"Sweet Disposition"
They're like a slightly more indie sounding U2. I first heard this song in (500) Days of Summer and discovered last year that it's a perfect autumn song.

5) Amy Winehouse--"Someone To Watch Over Me"
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this cover. There's something about the classic Gershwin song mixed with Amy's petulant, smoky voice that makes my heart go pitter-pat.

6) Wolfmother--"Vagabond"
This is a great summer-into-fall song. There's something about it that makes me feel like the seasons are changing. And I love the beat! This was another song I discovered through (500) Days of Summer.

7) The Chieftains f/Nickel Creek--"The Raggle Taggle Gypsy"
Irish music + bluegrass = MMMMMMM! The Chieftains are another band that's made up of such genuinely skilled musicians that it's hypnotizing to watch. So pairing them up with like Nickel Creek naturally brings the house down.

8) Allison Krauss & Robert Plant--"Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us"
Love love love this haunting song. Fun fact: it was originally by Sam Phillips, who did the music for Gilmore Girls! I love her version of the song as well. Both are very autumn-y.

9) Garrison Keillor & Meryl Streep (From the A Prairie Home Companion soundtrack)--"Gold Watch and Chain"
I am not a huge fan of the Prairie Home Companion radio show (I always come in during the middle and never have any clue what's going on), but for some reason I adore the movie. It's full of great music, but this song is particularly charming.

10) John Tsifliklis & His band (From the My Big Fat Greek Wedding soundtrack)--"Οραία Που Είναι η Νύφη Μας"
Autumn makes me think of many things, one of them being the annual Greek Festival in Tucson! I haven't been able to go for the past couple of years, which makes me sad. But luckily I still have incredible Greek music to keep me company instead.

I Only Have Eyes For You

I honestly forgot how much I love performing. I don't know how I let myself go so long without it.

Hanging out backstage, doing my makeup, warming up in the wings,
taking that deep breath just before the lights come up, getting lost in
movement, and taking off all my makeup after the show.

I love it all.

What a fantastic experience this Undergrad Concert has been!

---

Take As Directed
Choreography and Performance by: Katy Callie
Lighting Design: Katy Callie and Cari Koch
Costume, Makeup and Set Design: Katy Callie
Music: I Only Have Eyes for You, by The Flamingos

“She could always keep busy during the day, and at night—the lonely ones—there were always the beautiful dolls for company. She’d take two of them tonight. Why not?”
—Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

Take As Directed tells the story of a life that has been completely dominated by prescription medication, and the feeling of being yanked around by doctors and side effects. It also explores elements of self-injury and depression.

Certain things get lost in this video, such as facial expressions, movement dynamics like shaking, and makeup design. But you get the gist of it. And here’s an interesting tidbit...It states in the program that “This piece contains adult content.” Hm. Guess I really freaked everyone out.

Don't Be Olivier

Two more dancers dropped out of my Transition Project after I sent out an email saying if they can't make it to rehearsal, then they can't be in the piece. So now I only have four dancers including myself. It's not what I wanted (Ideally I wanted 8 dancers), but it's a relief to know that the three other dancers I have are fully committed to the process and actually show up to rehearsals!

However, it's tough adjusting my vision for 8 dancers to a cast half that size. That, combined with the choreography block I'm currently having (not quite at Guido Contini* level, but getting there), has made me really worried about where the piece is heading. I was feeling really glum today after rehearsal, because we have so much to do before adjudications in late November and I'm struggling to get the choreography out of me. And I was just bummed that my cast is so small.

Then tonight, I had an epiphany. This is like my Olivier from Project Runway moment. Olivier is a sizeist prick who basically "hates dressing fat people," and repeatedly blamed his bigger-sized models instead of owning up to his own mistakes. I realized that I'm kind of pulling an Olivier here. I could either bitch about my small cast and let that hinder the process, or I could suck it up and make it work. I'm working with what I've got, which might not be my original vision, but it's what I have. So I'm going to make it awesome instead of whining about it. Plus, my three dancers are lovely and I'm lucky to have them. So there! Enough whining! I'd rather shoot myself than turn into Olivier.



Lots more to report, but I'm very sleepy and about to turn in. More later.

*Guido Contini is the lead character in Nine. He's a filmmaker who has the worst case of writer's block on the planet, and it basically destroys him. It's painful to watch. So whenever I'm struggling with choreography block, I rate how desperate the situation is according to how close I am to feeling like Guido.

When In Rome

There are many artists I listen to that are perfect for autumn, but I think my favorite has to be Nickel Creek. There's just something about their brand of folksy bluegrass deliciousness that feels like autumn to me. I've been listening to them on a loop recently as I feel the weather slowly change. I think When in Rome might be my favorite song from them.

I've been going to Skateland almost every day to practice for roller derby tryouts (4 days!). The staff knows me now, to the point where the guy at the skate rental stand saw me coming today and immediately brought out a pair of size nine speed skates for me. D'aww. I love being a regular. It's tough to skate at a rink, only because there are so many people there and the majority are kids who are all kinds of unstable on skates. But maybe that's a blessing in disguise, because I'm practicing my dodging skills by skating around them! I'm getting the hang of roller skating (not an easy transition after years of ice and inline skating) and building my endurance more and more each day. I know that roller derby training is going to kick my ass, so I'm trying to build up as much strength as possible so if and when I make the team, I'll be at least a little bit ready. I hope I make it!! It's a huge commitment and also very dangerous, but I think it'll all be worth it. This is where my heart is leading me right now, and I'm looking forward to potentially trying something new and meeting lots of new people.

Still plodding along in school. I continue to struggle with staying awake in the morning, which is so frustrating. Tomorrow I'm going to try waking up earlier. It may seem counterintuitive, but maybe having more time in the morning to wake up will help? Ugh, I don't know. I really hate the way I feel in the morning. I envy early birds who pop out of bed like Julia Child in Julie & Julia ("I'm UP!"). I'm like a zombie, and I stay that way for a couple hours. Bleh.

My transition project is a bit of a hot mess right now. I've had so many problems with casting and absences (very reminiscent of Sweet Charity, ughh). So we're way behind and it's really frustrating. I did a bit of firm housekeeping, though, and I'm hoping that things will run smoother from now on. Pray that no one else drops out!! Also, I just launched a Kickstarter project to raise money--check it out and feel free to donate! Any little bit, even $1, helps tremendously. I'm hoping to raise $500 to cover costumes, props and copyright fees primarily. All that stuff is expensive!

And that's pretty much all that's going on at the moment. Apartment is still awesome, kitty is still awesome, I'm hanging in there.