Transitioning?

In four days, DUCK & COVER will be performed (along with many other awesome pieces) in the Transition Projects concert at ASU. This all feels so surreal. I can't believe it's finally time for this to happen...I've watched the seniors before do it, and now it's my turn. It's been such a crazy experience--thrilling, frustrating, scary, amazing. And even though I will have a year left after this semester--the result of being on medical withdrawal for two semesters--I still feel like this concert marks the end of something. Next year, all my classmates will be gone. I can't even tell you how weird it will be without them around. I love them all so much; they are the reason I didn't just drop out of school when I got sick. I'm so happy to have gone on this ASU journey with them. Words can't describe how much I'll miss them! I'm glad Facebook is around so I can keep up with their future endeavors (I hope that doesn't sound creepy; I'm just genuinely interested in what everyone is up to!) And I'm glad that I was able to get back into school so I could experience Transition Projects with my class. It wouldn't have been the same with anyone else. (And luckily, the incoming senior class is a fun bunch so I'll still have some awesome people around.) If you are free this weekend, I highly recommend coming to see this fantastic show! It's February 10th at 5:30 PM, February 11th at 7:30 PM and February 12th at 2:00 PM.

Don't Be Olivier

Two more dancers dropped out of my Transition Project after I sent out an email saying if they can't make it to rehearsal, then they can't be in the piece. So now I only have four dancers including myself. It's not what I wanted (Ideally I wanted 8 dancers), but it's a relief to know that the three other dancers I have are fully committed to the process and actually show up to rehearsals!

However, it's tough adjusting my vision for 8 dancers to a cast half that size. That, combined with the choreography block I'm currently having (not quite at Guido Contini* level, but getting there), has made me really worried about where the piece is heading. I was feeling really glum today after rehearsal, because we have so much to do before adjudications in late November and I'm struggling to get the choreography out of me. And I was just bummed that my cast is so small.

Then tonight, I had an epiphany. This is like my Olivier from Project Runway moment. Olivier is a sizeist prick who basically "hates dressing fat people," and repeatedly blamed his bigger-sized models instead of owning up to his own mistakes. I realized that I'm kind of pulling an Olivier here. I could either bitch about my small cast and let that hinder the process, or I could suck it up and make it work. I'm working with what I've got, which might not be my original vision, but it's what I have. So I'm going to make it awesome instead of whining about it. Plus, my three dancers are lovely and I'm lucky to have them. So there! Enough whining! I'd rather shoot myself than turn into Olivier.



Lots more to report, but I'm very sleepy and about to turn in. More later.

*Guido Contini is the lead character in Nine. He's a filmmaker who has the worst case of writer's block on the planet, and it basically destroys him. It's painful to watch. So whenever I'm struggling with choreography block, I rate how desperate the situation is according to how close I am to feeling like Guido.

When In Rome

There are many artists I listen to that are perfect for autumn, but I think my favorite has to be Nickel Creek. There's just something about their brand of folksy bluegrass deliciousness that feels like autumn to me. I've been listening to them on a loop recently as I feel the weather slowly change. I think When in Rome might be my favorite song from them.

I've been going to Skateland almost every day to practice for roller derby tryouts (4 days!). The staff knows me now, to the point where the guy at the skate rental stand saw me coming today and immediately brought out a pair of size nine speed skates for me. D'aww. I love being a regular. It's tough to skate at a rink, only because there are so many people there and the majority are kids who are all kinds of unstable on skates. But maybe that's a blessing in disguise, because I'm practicing my dodging skills by skating around them! I'm getting the hang of roller skating (not an easy transition after years of ice and inline skating) and building my endurance more and more each day. I know that roller derby training is going to kick my ass, so I'm trying to build up as much strength as possible so if and when I make the team, I'll be at least a little bit ready. I hope I make it!! It's a huge commitment and also very dangerous, but I think it'll all be worth it. This is where my heart is leading me right now, and I'm looking forward to potentially trying something new and meeting lots of new people.

Still plodding along in school. I continue to struggle with staying awake in the morning, which is so frustrating. Tomorrow I'm going to try waking up earlier. It may seem counterintuitive, but maybe having more time in the morning to wake up will help? Ugh, I don't know. I really hate the way I feel in the morning. I envy early birds who pop out of bed like Julia Child in Julie & Julia ("I'm UP!"). I'm like a zombie, and I stay that way for a couple hours. Bleh.

My transition project is a bit of a hot mess right now. I've had so many problems with casting and absences (very reminiscent of Sweet Charity, ughh). So we're way behind and it's really frustrating. I did a bit of firm housekeeping, though, and I'm hoping that things will run smoother from now on. Pray that no one else drops out!! Also, I just launched a Kickstarter project to raise money--check it out and feel free to donate! Any little bit, even $1, helps tremendously. I'm hoping to raise $500 to cover costumes, props and copyright fees primarily. All that stuff is expensive!

And that's pretty much all that's going on at the moment. Apartment is still awesome, kitty is still awesome, I'm hanging in there.

Things I Love Thursday

I've seen people do this on other blogs, and I decided to copy them. :)
Here are ten things I've been loving lately...

1) THE WEATHER. Holy wow, the weather this week has been unbelievable! My favorite times of year are the "mish-mash" seasons, meaning the days in between the major seasons. Arizona does mish-mash incredibly well. The between-summer-and-falls and between-winter-and-springs are absolutely perfect.

2) Whip It. I have roller derby on the brain. I'm trying out for the Arizona Derby Dames next Sunday, and it's practically all I've thought about this week. Whip It has definitely been my inspirational movie that gets me all pumped up and ready to kick ass.

3) Skateland Chandler. It is vastly superior to Skateland Mesa, that's for sure. I love going there to practice for derby tryouts, even with all the screaming children. The staff is really nice and the skates they rent out are decent (they also rent speed skates which is perfect, since that'll be the type of skate I'll be using for derby if I get on the team). I highly recommend it if you're in the area and ever feel like skating.

4) Ben Kingsley as Feste in Twelfth Night. I watched the Trevor Munn adaptation of the aforementioned play today, and enjoyed it. While everyone was brilliant (especially Imelda Staunton; girl has got some Shakespeare CHOPS), Ben Kingsley's Feste really stood out to me. He had that perfect mix of enigmatic and sharply witty. Lovelovelove.

5) All the homoerotic tension in Twelfth Night. It's so brilliant because there's all this sexual chemistry between Orsino and Cesario, but Cesario is actually the lady Viola in disguise! So it's homoerotic-but-then-again-not. Then Olivia falls in love with Cesario and there's all this chemistry between them, only Cesario is a lady! So it's actually quite homoerotic. Shakespeare, you are truly a genius!

6) Parks and Recreation. I seriously can not get enough of this show right now. I wasn't into it at first because the first season is a little too awkward for my tastes, but I stuck with it and the show really finds its legs in the second season and is just brilliant and hysterically funny!

7) Driving with my windows down. Since the weather has been stellar, this has been fantastic. Tonight I did it while sipping a hot cocoa in one hand. It was perfect.

8) My Transition Project class. I love seeing how everyone's projects are developing as well as giving and receiving feedback! The class flies by and we've been having some really great discussions. It's exciting and terrifying and I love every second.

9) Bridesmaids. I finally saw it and really enjoyed it! It wasn't what I expected, but I totally loved it nonetheless. I wanted to smack Helen in the face. And I'm so, so, so happy that Melissa McCarthy is getting so much recognition! She is a comedic genius and deserves every bit of fame she's acquired from Bridesmaids and Mike and Molly.

10) Breakfast at McDonald's. I'm really not a big fan of McDonald's food. I go there often to grab a drink since they're only a dollar, but tend to steer clear of the food. Except for breakfast. Their tasty, tasty breakfast. I live for Egg McMuffins as well as their Hotcakes!! Om nom nom. I can't figure out why it's so tasty...it just is.

An Interesting Tidbit From Today...

Over the summer, while doing research for my transition project, I stumbled upon a clip from the film Are We Winning, Mommy? America & the Cold War. I'm interested in seeing the movie and using some audio from it in my project, but the latter requires copyright permission. I've scoured the internet looking for a way to buy it so I can watch it and get information on where to send copyright permissions, but it's an independent film and is really hard to find. So I spent like four hours yesterday trying to track down contact information for the director, Barbara Margolis (I totally felt like a stalker). Finally, I managed to find contact info for the production company that produced it, Cine Information. I decided to email them just for the hell of it, thinking that nothing would come of it.

Well today, I get an email from BARBARA MARGOLIS HERSELF. She said it was a pleasure to receive my email, and that she'd be open to letting me use audio from the film. She also gave me the contact information for the distributor so I can buy the DVD. Whaaaat! I seriously thought I was sending the email into an empty abyss and didn't think anything would come of it, let alone so promptly! I'm excited. :) It was definitely a bright spot in an otherwise shit-tastic week!

Undesirables

We had a showing today in my Transition Project class, and I showed the material that I have thus far. Claudia, my professor, asked me where I was coming from with this piece--is it a spoof? Is it in earnest? Is it historical? These are some really important conceptual questions that I was happy to think about and answer.

I think that Duck & Cover is first and foremost a satire, with a touch of historical record. When we look back on the Red Scare and Cold War era, it seems so silly. So I want to satirize the silliness of that fear. But at the same time, there are frightening parallels between the fear-mongering then and the fear-mongering now, just with different contexts. There’s also a terrible precedent in history of hiding/getting rid of “undesirables”--Jews during the Holocaust, the Japanese in WWII, the Blacklisting of alleged Communists in the 50s, Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge and other racial cleansing/genocide, the segregation during the Civil Rights era. And now we have that same animosity towards Arabs and Muslims. I’ve been thinking a LOT about that lately. I want to comment on that in the piece, in a way that’s both satirical AND profound, and make the audience realize that the fear-mongering wasn’t just a thing of the past. It is still happening now.

Any thoughts on this??

Truckin'

Not too much to report, I guess. I'm two weeks into the semester. It's been going okay, just SO. EXHAUSTING. I think it'll (hopefully) get better once the weather changes. Schlepping around campus in 110 degree weather is difficult to say the least! I can't waaaait for fall.

Almost everything that's happening this semester scares the shit out of me. For one thing, I'm starting to piece together my senior project. And there are about a million things to keep track of...casting, costumes, lighting design, music (choosing songs/audio samples, editing, getting copyright permissions), rehearsals, choreography, AHH. I'm freaking out. But I have to remember that there are a lot of people around me who can help. My fabulous professor who teaches our class, our new badass technical director who is--no joke--a female body builder and gives amazing perspective and gets shit done, our production manager, and so on and so forth. I just have to suck it up and ask for help when I need it. My first rehearsal with my dancers (a cast which has yet to be solidified) is next Saturday. AHH.

In other scary news, we're required to spend nine sessions with a community dance initiative for my Creative Practices class. I'm participating in a project with South Mountain High School. This scares me because for some reason, community dance practice really makes me uncomfortable. No idea why. I guess it's because I don't have a ton of experience with it and am therefore totally out of my element. I had my first session with the project today, and it went alright. Scary as fuck, but I got through it.

The only way I'm able to deal with all this scariness is by remembering that I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE but to do these things. If I don't get my senior project together, I won't be able to graduate. If I don't do the nine community dance sessions, I fail the class. There's no other option but to just DO IT. And there's really no safety net and no turning back. So...yeah. Terrifying.

In non-school news, I'm an auntie again! My sister had her baby the other day. Little Patrick (Paddy for short) is adorable and I can't wait to meet him. Yay!

And that's about it. Time to enjoy the bejesus out of my three day weekend after an incredibly long week! I leave you with a Red Scare inspiration board....remember to duck and cover!

Thus Far...

The first two days of school have come and gone, and I somehow made it through. It was so weird starting on a Thursday...but I guess it was nice to only have two days of class before the weekend! I miraculously woke up at around 7 AM each day, and had time to eat breakfast and take my time getting ready for the day. Eating a good breakfast with a cup of coffee, as well as snacking between classes, helped significantly in getting through the day. Particularly on my 9:45 AM - 5 PM days. But it wasn't just food that got me through; I think I'm starting to feel somewhat "normal" again (knock on wood). By that, I mean it wasn't like pulling teeth to get through the day. I did have moments in class where I was struggling, but that's to be expected. And trudging around campus in the heat wasn't easy either. But I was actually able to do it all, which was a huge relief. Next week will be the true test of how the rest of the semester is going to go, however. We'll see if I can get through an entire week of classes. I think I can, as long as I keep taking care of myself.

I'm excited about my classes! I'm taking Modern, Ballet, Transition Projects (our senior capstone class), 3rd Year Creative Practices (which focuses on community dance; I'm taking it to make up for the semester I missed), and a Shakespeare class. It feels so great to be dancing with all my favorite ASU students and teachers again. And I'm especially excited about the Shakespeare class! My teacher rules. Which is so great...a class can be ruined so easily by a boring teacher. But our teacher is really funny and, more importantly, passionate and enthusiastic about the material which makes his lectures fun to listen to. And I love that his favorite Shakespeare play is Cymbeline. Such an out-of-the-ordinary choice. We'll be reading that later this semester. We have a ton of reading to do each week, but hopefully I can handle it.

I'm nervous about my capstone class, mostly because adjudications for the senior project concert are in NOVEMBER. That's in like five seconds. Meaning I have to get my project together enough to be adjudicated by then...Gahh. Luckily, I've been researching and brainstorming all summer on the idea I'm thinking of pursuing: a piece about the Red Scare and Cold War tentatively called Duck & Cover. I've always been obsessed with that era, and especially with Soviet propaganda, so I think it'll be a meaty subject to choreograph about. I just hope I can get everything together in time for adjudications.

I'm really enjoying living alone so far. My apartment is cozy and the complex is really nice. Living alone is by nature a little lonely, but in a good way. It's so nice to come home to my own space and not have to deal with being around people. It's peaceful and very liberating. Plus my amazing kitty is always around to keep me company! I'm still getting settled in and STILL have cleaning to do at Jonathan's (starting school kind of had me sidetracked), but hopefully I'll be all done by the time Kaylene comes to visit next week. :)

That's about it for now. I'm leaving you with a snippet from an anti-Communist propaganda film that I discovered on YouTube while doing research for Duck & Cover...hopefully it'll teach you how to sniff out those evil Commies!