Early Morning Updates

• I had the chance to talk with Claudia La Rocco just before her ASU residency ended. We met up on campus for a bit and I got to pick her brain. I think it went pretty well...she told me a lot about the goings-on of a journalist, and gave me some great advice, insight and ideas. I was really nervous, though, and feel like I came off as an awkward bumbling idiot. It's like I spend so much time alone that I forget how to talk to people. Or something. But I suppose feeling awkward but still getting good perspective is better than not contacting her at all.
  
• I participated in a fabulous Flash Mob recently, and it was a blast. It was so nice to see lovely people like Kathryn and Cat who I rarely get to meet up with. (That should change, because they're awesome.) It was also great to be there for everyone, even if I didn't personally know the woman who the flash mob was commemorating.
  
• I never really followed up on the hospitalization situation, mostly because it was a disaster. And a disaster that absolutely could have been prevented. Basically, without going into details since it's a private family thing, being hospitalized didn't happen. It should have, but didn't. And I wish I could go back in time and just NOT consider it as an option. It was hard enough to make that decision, and even harder to actually prepare for and to tell people it was going to happen. I told my teachers, withdrew from classes, stocked up on cat food and litter for Ragnar and was about to ask my roommate if he could take care of him while I was gone, and started packing. None of which was easy or pleasant, especially running on so little energy and an inescapable feeling of wanting to die. For things to play out the way that they did after all that, I'm just humiliated. Now, I'm back to struggling to make and get to doctors appointments, being put on different meds and blah blah blah. Same shit, different day. As mentioned in an earlier post, one of the medications I'm on is more or less an upper to keep me awake. And it has kept me awake, but hasn't changed my mood. So I still feel like shit, only now I can't sleep through it.
  
• I'm doing a blogger meetup thing today. I'm really nervous about it because I hate meeting new people, and the thought of having to socialize/make conversation for an entire day makes me anxious as all hell. I don't really know why I'm doing it. I guess to talk about blogging? See what various AZ bloggers are like in person? I don't know. We're doing a lot of poking around downtown Phoenix, though, and I've been wanting to familiarize myself with that area more. So that's good? I meant to get plenty of sleep tonight since I'm nervous about the meetup and need time to get ready for it in the morning, buuuut despite being tired, I've been too nervous to allow myself to sleep. Agh. We'll see how it goes.

Writing in Motion

Just in case you missed the posted links on Facebook, I started another blog just for my dance writing. And to try out WordPress because their layout options are so pretty. Today's post was originally my midterm paper for one of my classes last spring, but it was due the week that I hit a wall and stopped going to class. So I never got to turn it in. It's a profile of Lady Gaga and discusses how I went from completely detesting her music, to becoming a reluctant fan, to becoming a genuine fan. AND this paper happens to be where the subtitle of this blog comes from. That's the one good thing about all-night paper-writing frenzies; sleep deprivation and slap happiness will occasionally lead to silly Roccoco, Fragonard and Fellini references.

Anyway. Check it out if you're interested; I probably won't post the dance pieces on this blog anymore (maybe just link to them), and instead stick to personal writing. All the cross-posting just hurts my brain.

Anticlimax and "Fiction" Reading

Sweet Charity closed yesterday. It's always bizarre closing on a matinee. Matinee performances almost always have mellower crowds, which is just weird energy to end a show on. In my experience with Phoenix community theater thus far, the second-to-last performance is always the best one...and I usually prefer to remember those performances as the "last" ones. I remember doing Man of La Mancha at exactly this time last year, and I remember our second-to-last show being electrifying. The house was completely sold out, I had tears streaming down my face during the finale (so good for high notes), and we got a standing ovation. Then the closing matinee the next day was...fine.

It was the same with Sweet Charity. Saturday night's performance was hands down our best of the run, despite some minor mess-ups. We had a big, responsive, energetic audience that was FULL of people I knew. Some I already knew were coming--Kay and her brother Paul who came up from T-Town (yayyyyy!), Marissa and Steve--and some I had no idea were coming and was so overjoyed to see! The incredible Felicia who was one of my Harlem dancers in Ragtime who I haven't seen in far too long, Jeff who played Tateh in Ragtime, Michael Stewart who I saw in World Goes 'Round last year at Desert Foothills but didn't officially meet in person until last weekend at the City of Angels cast party, and the wonderful Cat who was in Kiss Me Kate with me last year who came with her sweet husband Josh (they're such a great couple). I think that's everyone? It was just a blur of awesomeness so I may have forgotten some people. It was a great night. Annnnd then the closing matinee. My DST friends Chris and Jennifer came and it was so great to see them, but it was a pretty small crowd (Easter Sunday) and not our best performance. IT'S ALL JUST SO ANTICLIMACTIC.

After gathering all my stuff, saying goodbyes/see you laters (another anticlimactic part) and discovering that the restaurant I wanted to go to was closed for Easter, I grabbed Panda Express and went home. After I washed my face, ate, internetted, and watched some West Wing (DAMN that "18th & Potomac" episode!), all the post-show adrenaline had worn off completely and I was EXHAUSTED. Even the glorious new Star Wars review couldn't keep me awake! I watched one part, then ended up falling asleep. AT NINE O'CLOCK. I'm NEVER able to fall asleep at nine!

I woke up this morning at 4 AM, inexplicably craving pasta like mad, and couldn't go back to sleep. So I went through 63 pages of updates on my Tumblr dashboard--that's what happens when you neglect Tumblr for a few days--and watched some Gilmore Girls and started reading blogs.

There's this girl I was vaguely acquainted with in middle school and high school named Gina. I knew her because she was part of the musical theater crowd and I filled her soprano spot in the girl's quartet I sang with. Now she's a military wife, personal trainer, nutritional advisor and raw food chef who I recently discovered writes a prolific blog called The Fitnessista. I've been reading it a lot lately. Even if her writing is full of silly slang/substitute words (please don't ever call a banana a "nanner" around me), emoticons and Spanglish, it's still an enjoyable and fascinating read, and she really knows what she's talking about. I find it fascinating because I do NOT know how this girl has the energy for her lifestyle. She works out every day in addition to teaching group fitness classes and personal training appointments, and eats raw/vegan meals and snacks until dinnertime. The amount of effort that goes into that kind of diet just staggers me. I don't even know what the hell she's talking about half the time. Maca seeds? Millet croutons? Chia seeds? Shallor? Good GOD. Even if I wanted to take on a raw diet, I don't know what any of this IS let alone where to buy it or how to pronounce it.

I do wish I could cook, though. Or rather, have the patience and energy to cook. I also wish I could be as active as Gina is. She has all these fitness plans on her blog, and I was like "Oooh, I want to try!" ...and then I stopped reading halfway through because I knew there was no way I'd ever be able to do all that. These gym people fascinate me. Which is the reason I've been oddly addicted to her blog recently. I read blogs like this almost as if they're fiction, because I feel like a lifestyle like that is so impossible. That's really the only way I can describe it. And this is all similar to my weird addiction to reading The Pioneer Woman or various cupcake blogs for hours on end, as if I'd ever be capable of cooking like that. Even the easy recipes feel too hard and time consuming. Plus I have no idea how to dice garlic cloves or whatever the hell she does. So until my Fairy Godmother knocks me on the head with her magic wand and bestows some magical cooking/gym-going power on me, I live vicariously through these crazy blogs and wonder how they do it all.