Currently...

WATCHING:
Sooooo muuuuch Parks and Recreation. I don't know how I ever survived without Ron Swanson. Also watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and am totally in love with Data. And I really wish someone would just punch Wesley Crusher in his stupid face and then throw him off the Enterprise forever. Because I hate him.
I have a lot of feelings, okay?
Also just got done rewatching the Sex and the City movie for the first time in awhile. Yes, I realize how problematic that show/movie is in terms of it being drenched in stereotypes and white privilege. But I can't help loving it anyway, so deal with it. And in case you were wondering, I'm a Charlotte.

LISTENING TO:
I have "Sin Wagon" by the Dixie Chicks on repeat, and desperately want to sing it at karaoke now that I know I can hit all the high notes!
Also listening to a shit ton of Broadway showtunes, namely Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (Mesa Encore Theatre will be holding auditions for that show soon and I would love to play Jolene) and Cabaret (aka my favorite musical ever, EVER, EVER).

PLANNING:
What the rest of my year will look like.
I found out last night, just after posting my list of various goals, that the cute indie coffee shop right across the street from my apartment is HIRING! Pretty fantastic timing, I must say, considering I had only just made the concrete decision to get a new job that day. I do hope it pans out. Even if it doesn't, I'm still not returning to my job this fall. I can always use the unemployed time to focus solely on school and learning how to become a functional human being, then go back to job-hunting after I graduate.
Also toying with some new interior design ideas for my room. I'd like to add a desk, reorganize my closets, get a beanbag chair (just because), and daydream about having enough room for an antique art deco vanity (even though I don't, unless I can move my smaller dresser into the closet...hmmm).

THINKING ABOUT:
School. I keep looking at my transcript thingie over and over again, because I basically can't believe I'm like four or five classes away from graduating. I need to work out some scheduling issues with my advisor, but then I should be all set for fall. I love you, ASU School of Dance, but I need to be done. Like right now.
Oh yeah, and I turn 26 next week?? Blahhhhhh.

READING:
I just finished up Dark Places by Gillian Flynn. SO good, SO creepy! I need her to release another fucked-up dark mystery novel ASAP!!
Now I'm in the dreaded between-books stage. I did just buy Dan Brown's new book on my iPad, so maybe I'll dive into that. I know his books are like literary junk food, but I am a shameless junk food enthusiast so I don't really care.

MAKING ME HAPPY:

• Performing. Not just being onstage, but the whole ritual of it. Picking up my green tea lemonade from Starbucks before heading to the theater, goofing around with my silly castmates, putting on my makeup and costume. Then taking it all off afterwards and heading home, ready to do it again the next night. I don't know...it's hard to explain. But I love it.
• PASSING MATH and being DONE with those classes forever and ever!
• Singing in my car all the time, and discovering I have a higher belt range than I previously thought.
• My pretty new dresser.
• Having stuff to look forward to in the (near) future as opposed to just bleak nothingness. I still don't know what my ultimate career path will be, but at least I have some things to keep me occupied until I figure it out.
• Poached eggs covered in Cholula on top of carnitas, potatoes, and cheese from Crackers & Company. Om nom nom.
• My supercute nieces and nephews.
• Eating ALL THE EEGEE'S! (It's a glorious local restaurant chain in Tucson.)
• This short piece on why Gillian Flynn writes about violent women: http://gillian-flynn.com/for-readers/
• Jenna Marbles. She makes me wish I was funny enough to do clever, pithy, silly vlogs. I particularly enjoy this video, 'cause it's totally true: 

Currently...

WATCHING: I've been indulging in older episodes of Grey's Anatomy, the good ones from before the show massively jumped the shark. Hopefully it'll get me in the mood to actually finish the last two seasons, even though it's often so bad that it's getting painful to watch.

LISTENING TO: "The Nest," by Jherek Bischoff f/Mirah Zeitlyn. On repeat. I'm considering it as music for my submission solo. It's so creepy and beautiful! Also lots of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, but I kind of overdosed a little on it to pep myself up for auditions and haven't listened to it since Monday. (Oh yeah, did I mention on here that I had two auditions on Sunday, one of which was for the previously mentioned musical?)

PLANNING: Strategies to get through the rest of the semester. My attendance has turned a bit erratic, and I need to get back on track. Maybe hanging up post-it notes that say GRADUATION!!!!!! on them will motivate me to get my ass in gear?

THINKING ABOUT: How I've gone through great emotional lengths to let things go, while others are still acting like children. Getting a new job or moving to a different location. I've also been choreographing a lot in my head, and am looking forward to getting into the studio this week to get it all out.

READING: I'm in that in-between books phase that drives me crazy. I've started a couple different books but haven't really felt very attached to any of them. Maybe I'll just dive into another Gillian Flynn novel, even though Gone Girl was overwhelmingly intense? I'm also plodding along in a fascinating book for one of my classes about neuroplasticity (the brain's ability to remodel) called The Brain That Changes Itself. Pretty cool stuff.

MAKING ME HAPPY: Pancakes. (And the fact that the hostess and half the waitstaff at my favorite breakfast place all know me by name!) Getting positive feedback on one of my auditions. Preparing to audition for Chicks With Dicks at Stray Cat Theater in Tempe--I've got a fantastic outfit planned! Feeling like part of a community. And as usual, my modern teacher's fucking incredible choreography...as well as my ability to actually do it WELL.

Currently...

I have nothing to do at work and it's been about a month since I've done one of these. So here we go.

WATCHING: Lots and lots of The West Wing. I need to actually finish the series; I've only gotten through season three. I've also randomly been watching Bend It Like Beckham. It's a great feel-good movie. And Jonathan Rhys-Myers is so cute in it, even though in real life he's a belligerent asshole.

LISTENING TO: A lot of NPR, to be honest. I'm kind of sick of all my music at the moment. But I'm currently working on a solo about submission, and am trying to find a song to use for one of the sections...right now I'm thinking Yann Tiersen. So I've been listening to a lot of his work.

PLANNING: As I just mentioned, I'm planning out and choreographing a solo about submission. It starts out focusing on the sexual side, then delves deeper into how my submission runs so deep that I've let myself submit to self-destruction as well.

THINKING ABOUT: You. How much I miss my coworkers and regulars at the previous location I worked at (I was transferred to a new location recently). You. How much I fucking love my modern class and teacher (Ashleigh Leite) this semester and how scared I am that I'm going to fuck it all up again. You. How I'm kind of sick of my job and need a change. You. How much I love my iPad mini. You. How I don't know how to resolve this issue. You. How I may need to do intensive outpatient therapy and/or dialectical behavioral therapy. You. How much I need to talk to you. Oh, and you.

READING: I started reading The Virgin Suicides and was enjoying it, but then I started reading Gone Girl and got sucked into that. So the former book has temporarily been moved to the back burner.

MAKING ME HAPPY: My cat. Getting some kind of catharsis. Dancing my modern teacher's amazing choreography. And that's about it at the moment.

Currently...

Watching: Rewatching Mad Men so I can catch up on the last couple of seasons. I stopped watching a couple episodes into the third season, I think. And that was awhile back, so rewatching is necessary so I can remember everything that's happened thus far. I'm almost done with the second season, which is painful to watch mostly because I fucking HATE Bobbie Barrett, and she won't go awayyyy! Plus there are other excruciating moments that are hard to watch...Mad Men always tip-toes on the line that separates it from being completely horrifying.

Listening to: The Show Your Bones album by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, lots of Regina Spektor, some Kate Nash, a little Rufus Wainwright, with bits of the Next to Normal soundtrack thrown in.

Planning: Not much, really. Winter Break is coming up, and the only thing I have planned (besides going home for Christmas) is to straighten up my apartment and do a ton of laundry.

Thinking about: How I've been so completely fucked over, it's not even funny. And I just let it all happen...I'm so easy to toss aside because I'm too nice. I can't really go into further detail, but needless to say--it feels horrible.

Reading: I just finished re-reading White Oleander by Janet Fitch, which is one of my favorite books EVER. I've re-read it once a year since I was fifteen, it's that incredible. Now I'm between books, which I hate. I've been poking around in Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, another one of my favorite books. I'm thinking of re-reading The Bell Jar or picking up where I left off in Sylvia Plath's diaries...although maybe that's not a good idea since it's all very triggering. But I'm just that masochistic, I guess.

Making me happy: Echhh, not much. :/ If I had to choose, I'd say definitely the supercute customer at work that I have a crush on (never going to happen, but a girl can dream). And my Amazon wish list for Christmas. It's full of books about dance and movement therapy and whatnot.

Currently...

WATCHING: I've been alternating between two of my favorite shows, Parks and Recreation and The West Wing. Both are brilliant! And I think Parks and Rec is hands down the funniest show on TV right now. I need to catch up on the recent episodes.

LISTENING TO: My recent playlist includes Lady Gaga, Mumford & Sons (I neeeeed to check out their new album!), Janelle Monae, and Katy Perry. All of which sound freaking amazing in my car's sound system. I often get strange looks from my neighbors when I drive through my apartment complex, and am temporarily confused until I realize that I'm blasting my music so loud that I'm basically a discotheque on wheels.

THINKING ABOUT: Why in the hell everyone around me was on my back today. My condescending manager, bitchy customers, Facebook friends who responded to my post about having to re-take my math class for the fifth time by telling me I need to get a tutor (guess what, bitches, I DID have a tutor and STILL couldn't pass! So why don't y'all go fuck yourselves!), and even the snotty salon receptionist who bitched me out when I had to cancel my appointment. Grrr. Just one of those annoying days, I guess.

TRYING TO FIGURE OUT: School things, mostly. Mehhh. I wrote my advisor kind of a desperate email and she responded by saying she'll be out of the office until Tuesday and will get to it then. Thaaaanks for nothing. I'm also trying to figure out how to muster up enough energy to work yoga back into my life.

LOOKING FORWARD TO: Things are so bleak right now that it's hard to look forward to things. But I do have various lovely adventures coming up...Movies in the Park at the Biltmore, dancing "Thriller" at my friends' wedding reception (for realsies!), hopefully going to Disneyland! I'm also looking forward to hanging out with my family for Thanksgiving, and being reunited with my best friend who lives in San Francisco but will be coming to visit for Turkey Day!

READING: Still re-reading Angels & Demons for my Religion and Pop Culture class. I first read it in high school when I was more easily charmed, and I definitely realize this time around how cheesy and overdramatic Dan Brown's writing is. But I'm enjoying it, anyway. Guilty pleasure, y'know.

MAKING ME HAPPY: This was another thing I had to scour my brain for since I'm such a Negative Nancy lately. But the things making me happiest right now are my sweet kitty, the weather slowly changing, and hanging out with wonderful people.

Currently...

Loving: My new job. It's crazy and fast-paced, which is terrifying but thrilling. And it's exactly what I signed up for. I'm also loving that autumn, my favorite season, is tantalizingly near!! I can't wait to listen to my favorite autumn music (mostly a lot of Nickel Creek), for some cooler weather, for Halloween and Thanksgiving, and for all things pumpkin (especially pumpkin ale)!

Reading: I'm still plodding along in Julie & Julia...I just haven't felt much like reading lately, so it remains unfinished. I'm hoping I'll have more recreational reading time once I get used to my crazy school and work schedule. Additionally, I'm reading some interesting books for school. I'm taking a class in Religion and Popular Culture, and the book list for that is pretty great. Next week I have to read Angels & Demons by Dan Brown, which I've actually already read but it was a loooong time ago. So I get to re-read it, which I don't mind...Dan Brown books are like literary candy. Om nom nom.

Watching: Morning Glory. I know I've written about this movie on here before...I freakin love it! Other things I've been watching include 28 Days (totally underrated Sandra Bullock flick), Easy A, and Best in Show. I was also thinking a lot about The Nightmare Before Christmas yesterday, so I definitely think that's due for a re-watch. It'll get me all excited for autumn, too!

Thinking about: Unfortunately the main thing I've been thinking about is something I don't feel comfortable sharing on here. Sorry! I've also been thinking a lot about how much I relate to Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas in terms of feeling overlooked, as well as her ability to see beneath the surface of things yet no one listens to her intuitions. I've also been thinking about how much I relate to the character of Amelie from the movie of the same name (which just happens to be my #1 favorite movie EVERRRR), in that we both tend to lose ourselves in helping people. And we also help others often at great personal expense. Sighhh.

Surprised by: My ability to catch on to my new job. The list of duties is long and complex, but I'm doing pretty well. A lot of my co-workers have commented on how they're surprised that I just started a couple weeks ago because I'm doing so well. Yay! :)

Making me sad: I realized that yesterday would have been my sister's 36th birthday had she not passed away in 1996. August 28th always happens to be a shitty day for me, and I think it's because I always have thoughts of her lingering in the back of my mind.

Making me happy: It actually feels pretty good to dance again. I didn't dance much all summer which I was kicking myself for, but I realize now that it was probably a good idea to step away from movement for a little while. Last semester, I was starting to hate dance. It just felt painful and bad to move in my modern and ballet classes, and that was very straining both physically and emotionally. But the time away must have done me some good, because I've been feeling pretty great in my modern class so far. I think a lot of that has to do with my amazing teacher, though! She rocks and her pedagogy just works really well with my body.

Currently...

Reading: Catching Fire, aka the second Hunger Games book. Loving it! Shit's getting cuh-razy! These books are totally creepy, which I love. And they're pretty quick reads, which I love even more. I'm also plodding along in Naked by David Sedaris. I'm so looking forward to school ending so I can have more time to just curl up and read.

Watching: I haven't been able to watch Doctor Who ever since my trip to New York in January 2011 (long story), but I sucked it up and rewatched the pilot just now. Oddly satisfying. Watching mannequins come to life and kill people makes me think of my friend Christian, who is terrified of mannequins and therefore could never watch this show! I've also been watching Parks and Recreation. Hands down the funniest show on television.

Working on: Getting through the last few days of school. This is seriously the slowest week of my life! I just want this semester to be OVER so I can have some time to myself, and actually have time to find a job. I've been applying everywhere--Jamba Juice, Olive Garden, Apple, Starbucks, Whole Foods, Wildflower and more--but haven't heard back. :/ But once school is out, I'll have time to be more vigilant about getting hired.

Thinking about: How much better I'll feel once school is out! Sorry to sound like a broken record, I'm just SO ready for the semester to be over.

Anticipating: The tasty pizza I just ordered from Mellow Mushroom. Their crust is to die for.

Listening to: The playlist I made for the Undergrad Show, particularly "Start Wearing Purple" by Gogol Bordello. I really want to choreograph a silly piece to that song.

Eating: Super crappy food. Yet another reason why I'm looking forward to the semester being over is that I'll have the time and energy to clean out my currently disgusting fridge and refill it with good, whole foods.

Wishing: That I pass all my classes. My attendance this semester has been atrocious. I blame not getting a long enough winter break! But I'm doing lots of extra credit work, so hopefully I'll get passing grades.