Countdown

So, a few weeks ago, I emailed Phoenix Theatre's production manager inquiring about choreographing for them next season. I initially got a response saying that no positions were available, but they will definitely keep my information on file. Not too shabby, especially considering I never expected to get a response!

THEN.

I got another response. It said that the Artistic Director, Michael Barnard, wants to meet with me!! What?! They said that while they are still unsure about positions available for next season, Michael Barnard likes to know who is out there for future reference. So of COURSE I responded back saying I was interested, and we have a meeting set for this upcoming Friday at 10:30 AM. I can't believe it! I'm so excited, and so nervous as well!

Additionally, I am auditioning for Phoenix Theatre this week, the day after my meeting with Michael Barnard. Hopefully meeting with him will make me less nervous? I hope so. I'm planning on singing "A Trip to the Library" from She Loves Me and "Maybe This Time" from Cabaret, then doing a monologue from Talk Radio. I almost have the monologue memorized, and need to go through my songs a few more times. Then prep all my audition materials--resume, headshot, music, etc. I also need to prepare a press packet to bring to my meeting with Michael Barnard.

AHH! Things are happening! Even if there aren't any choreography jobs available and/or I don't get cast in anything, at least I'm getting my foot in the door there. Not bad!

I Only Have Eyes For You

I honestly forgot how much I love performing. I don't know how I let myself go so long without it.

Hanging out backstage, doing my makeup, warming up in the wings,
taking that deep breath just before the lights come up, getting lost in
movement, and taking off all my makeup after the show.

I love it all.

What a fantastic experience this Undergrad Concert has been!

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Take As Directed
Choreography and Performance by: Katy Callie
Lighting Design: Katy Callie and Cari Koch
Costume, Makeup and Set Design: Katy Callie
Music: I Only Have Eyes for You, by The Flamingos

“She could always keep busy during the day, and at night—the lonely ones—there were always the beautiful dolls for company. She’d take two of them tonight. Why not?”
—Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

Take As Directed tells the story of a life that has been completely dominated by prescription medication, and the feeling of being yanked around by doctors and side effects. It also explores elements of self-injury and depression.

Certain things get lost in this video, such as facial expressions, movement dynamics like shaking, and makeup design. But you get the gist of it. And here’s an interesting tidbit...It states in the program that “This piece contains adult content.” Hm. Guess I really freaked everyone out.

Don't Be Olivier

Two more dancers dropped out of my Transition Project after I sent out an email saying if they can't make it to rehearsal, then they can't be in the piece. So now I only have four dancers including myself. It's not what I wanted (Ideally I wanted 8 dancers), but it's a relief to know that the three other dancers I have are fully committed to the process and actually show up to rehearsals!

However, it's tough adjusting my vision for 8 dancers to a cast half that size. That, combined with the choreography block I'm currently having (not quite at Guido Contini* level, but getting there), has made me really worried about where the piece is heading. I was feeling really glum today after rehearsal, because we have so much to do before adjudications in late November and I'm struggling to get the choreography out of me. And I was just bummed that my cast is so small.

Then tonight, I had an epiphany. This is like my Olivier from Project Runway moment. Olivier is a sizeist prick who basically "hates dressing fat people," and repeatedly blamed his bigger-sized models instead of owning up to his own mistakes. I realized that I'm kind of pulling an Olivier here. I could either bitch about my small cast and let that hinder the process, or I could suck it up and make it work. I'm working with what I've got, which might not be my original vision, but it's what I have. So I'm going to make it awesome instead of whining about it. Plus, my three dancers are lovely and I'm lucky to have them. So there! Enough whining! I'd rather shoot myself than turn into Olivier.



Lots more to report, but I'm very sleepy and about to turn in. More later.

*Guido Contini is the lead character in Nine. He's a filmmaker who has the worst case of writer's block on the planet, and it basically destroys him. It's painful to watch. So whenever I'm struggling with choreography block, I rate how desperate the situation is according to how close I am to feeling like Guido.

Undesirables

We had a showing today in my Transition Project class, and I showed the material that I have thus far. Claudia, my professor, asked me where I was coming from with this piece--is it a spoof? Is it in earnest? Is it historical? These are some really important conceptual questions that I was happy to think about and answer.

I think that Duck & Cover is first and foremost a satire, with a touch of historical record. When we look back on the Red Scare and Cold War era, it seems so silly. So I want to satirize the silliness of that fear. But at the same time, there are frightening parallels between the fear-mongering then and the fear-mongering now, just with different contexts. There’s also a terrible precedent in history of hiding/getting rid of “undesirables”--Jews during the Holocaust, the Japanese in WWII, the Blacklisting of alleged Communists in the 50s, Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge and other racial cleansing/genocide, the segregation during the Civil Rights era. And now we have that same animosity towards Arabs and Muslims. I’ve been thinking a LOT about that lately. I want to comment on that in the piece, in a way that’s both satirical AND profound, and make the audience realize that the fear-mongering wasn’t just a thing of the past. It is still happening now.

Any thoughts on this??

Thus Far...

The first two days of school have come and gone, and I somehow made it through. It was so weird starting on a Thursday...but I guess it was nice to only have two days of class before the weekend! I miraculously woke up at around 7 AM each day, and had time to eat breakfast and take my time getting ready for the day. Eating a good breakfast with a cup of coffee, as well as snacking between classes, helped significantly in getting through the day. Particularly on my 9:45 AM - 5 PM days. But it wasn't just food that got me through; I think I'm starting to feel somewhat "normal" again (knock on wood). By that, I mean it wasn't like pulling teeth to get through the day. I did have moments in class where I was struggling, but that's to be expected. And trudging around campus in the heat wasn't easy either. But I was actually able to do it all, which was a huge relief. Next week will be the true test of how the rest of the semester is going to go, however. We'll see if I can get through an entire week of classes. I think I can, as long as I keep taking care of myself.

I'm excited about my classes! I'm taking Modern, Ballet, Transition Projects (our senior capstone class), 3rd Year Creative Practices (which focuses on community dance; I'm taking it to make up for the semester I missed), and a Shakespeare class. It feels so great to be dancing with all my favorite ASU students and teachers again. And I'm especially excited about the Shakespeare class! My teacher rules. Which is so great...a class can be ruined so easily by a boring teacher. But our teacher is really funny and, more importantly, passionate and enthusiastic about the material which makes his lectures fun to listen to. And I love that his favorite Shakespeare play is Cymbeline. Such an out-of-the-ordinary choice. We'll be reading that later this semester. We have a ton of reading to do each week, but hopefully I can handle it.

I'm nervous about my capstone class, mostly because adjudications for the senior project concert are in NOVEMBER. That's in like five seconds. Meaning I have to get my project together enough to be adjudicated by then...Gahh. Luckily, I've been researching and brainstorming all summer on the idea I'm thinking of pursuing: a piece about the Red Scare and Cold War tentatively called Duck & Cover. I've always been obsessed with that era, and especially with Soviet propaganda, so I think it'll be a meaty subject to choreograph about. I just hope I can get everything together in time for adjudications.

I'm really enjoying living alone so far. My apartment is cozy and the complex is really nice. Living alone is by nature a little lonely, but in a good way. It's so nice to come home to my own space and not have to deal with being around people. It's peaceful and very liberating. Plus my amazing kitty is always around to keep me company! I'm still getting settled in and STILL have cleaning to do at Jonathan's (starting school kind of had me sidetracked), but hopefully I'll be all done by the time Kaylene comes to visit next week. :)

That's about it for now. I'm leaving you with a snippet from an anti-Communist propaganda film that I discovered on YouTube while doing research for Duck & Cover...hopefully it'll teach you how to sniff out those evil Commies!

Triptych: Apprehensively Determined

I) I don't understand how my classmates at ASU make it look so easy. I know one girl who does so much that she must run on an hour of sleep per night. Another girl somehow effortlessly double-majors and still finds time to stage manage. Another girl churns out these eccentric performance pieces, one after the other, like it's nothing. How exactly to they do it? And why is it so difficult for me? Do they struggle, or is it really that doable for them? I honestly have no idea how they do it all.

II) I've hit a point where everything has to be black and white. It can either be all good or all bad--I can't take the normal ups and downs anymore. I don't have the strength or desire to swim through shades of gray. At least when it's black or white, I have some idea of how to deal with it; how to live.

III) I was listening to West Side Story yesterday, and something just clicked in my brain. It's one of those shows that I'm not sure I could choreograph well because it's SO iconic that it feels like there's not much room for originality. Maybe even more iconic than Fosse shows. Most people just re-create each number from the movie. I'm going to change all that. I'm actually seeing movement sequences in my head, and feel like I'll be able to utilize the same mindset I used during Sweet Charity: maintaining the aesthetic and integrity of the original movement, but still choreographing it in my own style. I'm going to choreograph West Side Story. I'm thinking of gathering my dancer friends together, teach them some of the sequences that I'm seeing in my head for the show (and for Hairspray, too), burn it onto a DVD and send it to Mesa Encore Theatre. This is so happening.

Shrugging of the Shoulders

I did end up cancelling my PT audition. I kind of feel like a loser for doing so, but at the same time I'm okay with it. Meh. I spent the day sleeping, eating ice cream, doing crafty things, and watching Twin Peaks. Audrey Horne is my hero and one can never get enough Dale Cooper.

I think I might still audition for Little Shop at Hale later this month, since, oh yeah, I didn't get cast in Hairspray. Kind of made me a little sad since I would've loved to be in it and killed the dance audition (and in HEELS, damn it!), but I totally understand. I really think my fate with that show is to choreograph it rather than be in it. I look too much like a Tracy to be in the ensemble, and I'm not good enough to actually play Tracy. So I've decided to focus on the choreography side. Mesa Encore Theatre is doing it next summer, so I'm going to contact them now. Maybe I'll choreograph their West Side Story while I'm at it (if they get the rights, that is).

Still desperate for a job. I just applied to Barnes and Noble but haven't heard back yet. Dahh. My next applications will be for Changing Hands and the Apple store. And McDonald's. Because at this point, I'm so not above working at McDonald's. I just want and need a damn job.

It's nice to feel somewhat motivated to do stuff. I've spent many hours thinking that I won't last through this year so why bother making long-term goals. But I suppose the five thousand medications I'm jacked up on are starting to work because I'm not thinking that as often. Shrug.