On Being Half-Way Through My Twenties...

I'm kind of having a meltdown over here.

My 25th birthday is on Monday, and I can't say I'm looking forward to it. My Mom asked me the other day what was on my birthday list this year, and I honestly had no idea what I wanted. Except for one thing: the only thing I really want is to NOT be turning 25.

I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be at this point in my life, and therefore just feel like an epic failure. I'm STILL not done with school; I'm eight years into my fucking bachelor's degree and am actually older than most of the grad students. I don't have a job. I've applied everywhere, and no one, not even McDonald's, will call me back. I have absolutely zero financial independence. My parents pay all my bills, including a sky-high Visa bill which, no matter how hard I try, just will not go down. They just bought me a new car. I can't think of anyone more UNdeserving of a new car than me. I have no idea how to handle money. I don't know how to cook and can't keep my apartment clean. While friend after friend gets married, I remain single. I've put on like 20 pounds in the past year and can't lose it. I've crossed the threshold into being too fat to dance, because every time I do, it just hurts. I almost feel like I hate dancing now. I haven't choreographed a musical in two years and, despite the hiatus, still feel choreographically tapped out. This is unfortunate because I planned on making this my career, and have absolutely no idea what I would do instead. I've done absolutely nothing with my life, and I have no idea where I'm going anymore.

Cheers.

Countdown

So, a few weeks ago, I emailed Phoenix Theatre's production manager inquiring about choreographing for them next season. I initially got a response saying that no positions were available, but they will definitely keep my information on file. Not too shabby, especially considering I never expected to get a response!

THEN.

I got another response. It said that the Artistic Director, Michael Barnard, wants to meet with me!! What?! They said that while they are still unsure about positions available for next season, Michael Barnard likes to know who is out there for future reference. So of COURSE I responded back saying I was interested, and we have a meeting set for this upcoming Friday at 10:30 AM. I can't believe it! I'm so excited, and so nervous as well!

Additionally, I am auditioning for Phoenix Theatre this week, the day after my meeting with Michael Barnard. Hopefully meeting with him will make me less nervous? I hope so. I'm planning on singing "A Trip to the Library" from She Loves Me and "Maybe This Time" from Cabaret, then doing a monologue from Talk Radio. I almost have the monologue memorized, and need to go through my songs a few more times. Then prep all my audition materials--resume, headshot, music, etc. I also need to prepare a press packet to bring to my meeting with Michael Barnard.

AHH! Things are happening! Even if there aren't any choreography jobs available and/or I don't get cast in anything, at least I'm getting my foot in the door there. Not bad!

Currently...

Reading: Catching Fire, aka the second Hunger Games book. Loving it! Shit's getting cuh-razy! These books are totally creepy, which I love. And they're pretty quick reads, which I love even more. I'm also plodding along in Naked by David Sedaris. I'm so looking forward to school ending so I can have more time to just curl up and read.

Watching: I haven't been able to watch Doctor Who ever since my trip to New York in January 2011 (long story), but I sucked it up and rewatched the pilot just now. Oddly satisfying. Watching mannequins come to life and kill people makes me think of my friend Christian, who is terrified of mannequins and therefore could never watch this show! I've also been watching Parks and Recreation. Hands down the funniest show on television.

Working on: Getting through the last few days of school. This is seriously the slowest week of my life! I just want this semester to be OVER so I can have some time to myself, and actually have time to find a job. I've been applying everywhere--Jamba Juice, Olive Garden, Apple, Starbucks, Whole Foods, Wildflower and more--but haven't heard back. :/ But once school is out, I'll have time to be more vigilant about getting hired.

Thinking about: How much better I'll feel once school is out! Sorry to sound like a broken record, I'm just SO ready for the semester to be over.

Anticipating: The tasty pizza I just ordered from Mellow Mushroom. Their crust is to die for.

Listening to: The playlist I made for the Undergrad Show, particularly "Start Wearing Purple" by Gogol Bordello. I really want to choreograph a silly piece to that song.

Eating: Super crappy food. Yet another reason why I'm looking forward to the semester being over is that I'll have the time and energy to clean out my currently disgusting fridge and refill it with good, whole foods.

Wishing: That I pass all my classes. My attendance this semester has been atrocious. I blame not getting a long enough winter break! But I'm doing lots of extra credit work, so hopefully I'll get passing grades.

Gold Lamé Dresses and Breakdancing Beam Routines

I want to be just like the lead dancer from this number:


And live my life like Wei Wei's beam routine from Stick It:


...That's all.

ASU Undergrad Concert: Pre-Show/Intermission Playlist

One of my duties as Artistic Director for the Undergrad Show is to put together music for pre-show/intermission. This was one of my favorite parts of the job, as I LOVE LOVE LOVE putting together playlists!! The Undergrad Show is full of quirky, diverse works, so I decided to model the playlist after that, building it around a fabulous cover of T.I.'s "Whatever You Like" by Anya Marina. I peppered some other quirky cover songs in there as well. I think it turned out pretty great!

1. Duncan Sheik--"There Once Was A Pirate"
2. Magnet--"The Gospel Song"
3. Blind Uncle Gaspard--"Assi Dans La Fenetre De Ma Chambre"
4. Gogol Bordello--"Start Wearing Purple"
5. Anya Marina--"Whatever You Like"
6. Amy Winehouse--"Back to Black"
7. Yael Naim--"Toxic"
8. Sparks--"Suburban Homeboy"
9. Kate Nash--"Mouthwash"
10. The Bird and the Bee--"My Love"
11. Alanis Morrissette--"Citizen of the Planet"
12. The Rolling Stones--"Laugh, I Nearly Died"
13. Taken By Trees--"Sweet Child O' Mine"
14. The Andrews Sisters--"Bei Mir Bist Du Shoen"
15. The Roaring Girl Cabaret--"Passion Play" (I could not find this on YouTube, unfortunately, so it is not on the playlist below.)
16. Florence + the Machine--"Dog Days Are Over"
17. Amy Winehouse--"Someone to Watch Over Me"
18. Leonard Nimoy--"Highly Illogical"
19. The Puppini Sisters--"Walk Like An Egyptian"
20. The Dresden Dolls--"Coin Operated Boy"
21. Helen Kane--"I Wanna Be Loved By You"
22. Ani Difranco--"Here For Now"
23. April March--"Chick Habit"
24. Rufus Wainwright--"Between My Legs"
25. Yeah Yeah Yeahs--"Gold Lion (Live Acoustic)"
26. Lenka--"Trouble is a Friend"
27. Jessie J--"Sexy Silk"
28. Crooked Still--"Ain't No Grave"
29. Massive Attack--"Teardrop"
30. Kanye West--"Street Lights"
31. The Velvet Underground--"I'm Sticking With You"
32. Britney Spears--"Piece of Me"
33. The Pierces--"Secret"
34. The Roaring Girl Cabaret--"L'Amour Est Un Oiseau Rebelle" (I could not find this on YouTube, unfortunately, so it is not on the playlist below.)
35. M.I.A.--"Paper Planes"
36. Metric--"Black Sheep"
37. Eileen--"Ces Bottes Sont Faites Pour Marcher"
38. The Dresden Dolls--"Mandy Goes to Med School"

A Rufus Kind of Week

Rufus Wainwright has been my music of choice this week. Can't get enough.