Currently...

WATCHING: I've been indulging in older episodes of Grey's Anatomy, the good ones from before the show massively jumped the shark. Hopefully it'll get me in the mood to actually finish the last two seasons, even though it's often so bad that it's getting painful to watch.

LISTENING TO: "The Nest," by Jherek Bischoff f/Mirah Zeitlyn. On repeat. I'm considering it as music for my submission solo. It's so creepy and beautiful! Also lots of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, but I kind of overdosed a little on it to pep myself up for auditions and haven't listened to it since Monday. (Oh yeah, did I mention on here that I had two auditions on Sunday, one of which was for the previously mentioned musical?)

PLANNING: Strategies to get through the rest of the semester. My attendance has turned a bit erratic, and I need to get back on track. Maybe hanging up post-it notes that say GRADUATION!!!!!! on them will motivate me to get my ass in gear?

THINKING ABOUT: How I've gone through great emotional lengths to let things go, while others are still acting like children. Getting a new job or moving to a different location. I've also been choreographing a lot in my head, and am looking forward to getting into the studio this week to get it all out.

READING: I'm in that in-between books phase that drives me crazy. I've started a couple different books but haven't really felt very attached to any of them. Maybe I'll just dive into another Gillian Flynn novel, even though Gone Girl was overwhelmingly intense? I'm also plodding along in a fascinating book for one of my classes about neuroplasticity (the brain's ability to remodel) called The Brain That Changes Itself. Pretty cool stuff.

MAKING ME HAPPY: Pancakes. (And the fact that the hostess and half the waitstaff at my favorite breakfast place all know me by name!) Getting positive feedback on one of my auditions. Preparing to audition for Chicks With Dicks at Stray Cat Theater in Tempe--I've got a fantastic outfit planned! Feeling like part of a community. And as usual, my modern teacher's fucking incredible choreography...as well as my ability to actually do it WELL.

Closure

I had written a letter to him earlier this week. Today I edited it and handwrote it out; it covered six pages. Everything that went unsaid. A final goodbye.

Tonight I delivered it to him.

Then I drove to our usual hang out by myself, had a glass of cabernet sauvignon, and said goodbye to him in my heart.

Our friendship is over.
I know it's best for us in the long run, but right now my heart is broken.

I'll love you forever.
Goodbye.