Saturday, December 24, 2011

Katy's Favorite Idiosyncratic Christmas Songs

As I mentioned before, I love idiosyncratic versions of classic Christmas songs. I thought I'd compile them and the spirit of the holidays, y'know. All these songs just feel like Christmas to me. Enjoy!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Desert Girl

This came from the following prompt from Old Friend From Far Away: The Practice of Writing Memoir by Natalie Goldberg: "We all come from someplace. Where did you come from? How did you escape? Go for ten."

I come from the desert. I'm a lifelong desert girl. My body was formed in dry heat, my bones shaped from saguaro skeletons. I can walk through 110 degree heat; heat so oppressive that it practically suffocates you. I'm a desert girl--the dry heat is second nature to me. I often feel like a saguaro, warding off outsiders with sharp spines all over my body. Get away from me. I soak up whatever I can when I get it, much like saguaros soak up rainwater. I survive on it for months. Give me all you have to give, I'll thrive on whatever you have.

I haven't escaped the desert yet, I've only migrated from one part to another. I know one day I will. I'll leave the dry heat for the sizzling humidity of summers in New York. But no matter where I go, I'll always have the desert. It's in my body, my bones, my marrow, my blood. It's all over my skin. It's in my nature. I'll always be a desert girl, even in snowy New York winters.

Give me all you have to give.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Things I Love Thursday

It's been awhile since I've done this. Here's what I've been loving lately...

1. Idiosyncratic Christmas songs. I can't stand sickly sugar covers of "Last Christmas." Rather, I prefer Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan doing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," Sufjan Stevens doing "O Come, O Come Emmanuel," Lady Gaga singing "White Christmas" as only she can. I scour iTunes for them. The idiosyncratic versions of carols get me in the spirit more than traditional ones.

2. Italian Wedding soup from Oregano's. I had it last night. It's served in a bowl bigger than my head with a sliver of cheesy garlic bread. So good!

3. The PBS adaptation of Macbeth with Patrick Stewart. Wow wow wow. It's amazing! It's streaming on Netflix. WATCH IT.

4. The Three Witches in Macbeth. I'm kind of obsessed with them, especially the ones in the PBS version. They give me the creeps in the best way.

5. Cake vodka! Three Olives makes it, along with many other flavors. But this vodka is so smooth that you could drink it straight if you wanted to. I prefer to mix it with hot cocoa for warm boozy bliss.

6. "Heartwarming" lattes and snickerdoodles from Liberty Market. "Heartwarming" denotes adding a shot of 100 proof peppermint schnapps! So delicious, so warm and fuzzy. And their snickerdoodles are the only ones I've found that are as good as my Mama's homemade ones.

7. This blog entry about how to talk to a dance major. I get these questions ALL. THE. TIME.

8. Pancakes from The Good Egg. Food there is pretty hit or miss, but their pancakes are stacks of fluffy deliciousness.

9. White Oleander, by Janet Fitch. I'm re-reading it for the millionth time. It never gets's so nasty and beautiful. And it makes my fingers itch to write.

10. Natalie Goldberg's writing exercises in Old Friend From Far Away: The Practice of Writing Memoir. She is such a remarkable teacher and gives such great prompts. I've generated a lot of great writing because of her.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Movie Night Mix, Part I of III

Every year for Christmas, my family does a gift exchange where we draw one name from a hat and shop for that person (my family is HUGE so this system is a must). Last year, I got one of my brothers who is very difficult to shop for because he has everything. I racked my brain for an idea, then had a stroke of genius. A Movie Night Kit! I bought him Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Inception, then added in popcorn and Raisinettes (the store was out of Red Vines, otherwise I would've added that in, too) and topped it all off with an epic mix CD of songs from a myriad of different movies. I scoured my favorite movies for more unorthodox music choices instead of just putting cliched movie songs like "My Heart Will Go On" on there. I love how this mix turned out, so I thought I'd share it. And if you're ever stumped about what to get someone, the movie night thing is a fun, low-stress idea. :)


Sunday, December 11, 2011

Ready for Christmas

I remember my mother's collection of Christmas music boxes. My favorite was a ceramic house with a tiny ceramic Santa that would pop in and out of the chimney. I loved putting my finger on his little hat, hearing my Mom's voice saying lovingly but firmly, "Donnnnn't break it, Katy Callie!"

Christmas at the Callie house. For years, we invited the Finn and Kniaz families over to our house on Christmas Eve. Both of them were big families like ours, and the house was filled to the brim with people. Mom would make enough manicotti for an army. We all knew not to mess with her that day while she was cooking! I always felt so excited for this party; I loved dressing up and eating and hearing everyone talk. For years I felt too old to play with the little kids and too young to hobnob with the adults, so I just kind of floated around, listening in on conversations. I always wanted to join in, but never knew what to say. But that was okay. I've always enjoyed being along around large groups of people, listening intently to all their stories.

On Christmas Day, my family would gather around the nativity in the foyer while my Dad, a staunch Catholic, read bible verses aloud. Then we would spend hours opening gifts, drinking coffee, and enjoying each others company. We'd go to church, then open our stockings. We would play with our new toys. Then we would go over to the Finn's house for an early dinner.

Warm, sugar-coated days and nights spent with family and friends.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


I can't believe I made it through the semester. I'm hoping that I pass all my classes; it was really difficult for me to get to all my classes at first so I have a lot of absences. But I got my shit together mid-semester. I'm hoping my rocky start won't ruin all my grades. :/ Keep your fingers crossed that I pass all my classes.

But enough of that. Today was the last day of classes. There is a party tonight and I am going to do some celebratory drinking!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving


1. MY KITTY! <3
2. Support from my parents.
3. My lovely little apartment.
4. My amazing friends near and far.
5. The School of Dance community at ASU. 6. My DUCK & COVER dancers.
7. My big famiglia.
8. Shows like Parks & Rec for keeping me smiling.
9. My doctors who have helped me out over the past couple of years.
10. Feeling like I have things to look forward to in the future--my transition project, graduating, moving to New York, etc.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Awake at 2 AM

Why do people think I'm capable of pulling off even the most basic of human tasks? I'm seriously drowning here. And not like normal-end-of-the-semester drowning, but like I've-fucked-everything-up-for-the-millionth-time drowning. Isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same behavior over and over again expecting different results?? Clearly I've gone insane because I keep doing the same shit repeatedly and expect things to change. And of course they never do. I'm never going to graduate. I'm never going to get a job. My senior project is a mess. I'm never going to make it out of this stagnant place that I'm in. I can't do anything. I really wish people would understand that.

And on top of everything, I can't sleep. I've got a full day tomorrow of class, rehearsal, and a paper to write. I'm exhausted but I can't fall asleep. Oh well. Tomorrow will just be one more thing that I fuck up.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Katy's Favorite Autumn Music, Vol. 1

Autumn, by Sylvia Ji

1) Nickel Creek--"Scotch and Chocolate"
I listen to pretty much anything by Nickel Creek during autumn, but this is one of my favorites. And this video was apparently one of their last unplugged sessions before they broke up. TOO MUCH AMAZING, seriously. I love watching musicians who are so genuinely skilled like this.

2) Nickel Creek--"When in Rome"
My requisite autumn song. Plus they all look like a buncha studs in this video.

3) Anything by The Roaring Girl Cabaret
She rocks! And her music is delicious. I particularly enjoy "Passion Play" (lots of Shakespeare references!), "Sweet By and By," and her cover of "L'Amour Est Un Oiseau Rebelle" from Carmen.

4) Temper Trap--"Sweet Disposition"
They're like a slightly more indie sounding U2. I first heard this song in (500) Days of Summer and discovered last year that it's a perfect autumn song.

5) Amy Winehouse--"Someone To Watch Over Me"
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this cover. There's something about the classic Gershwin song mixed with Amy's petulant, smoky voice that makes my heart go pitter-pat.

6) Wolfmother--"Vagabond"
This is a great summer-into-fall song. There's something about it that makes me feel like the seasons are changing. And I love the beat! This was another song I discovered through (500) Days of Summer.

7) The Chieftains f/Nickel Creek--"The Raggle Taggle Gypsy"
Irish music + bluegrass = MMMMMMM! The Chieftains are another band that's made up of such genuinely skilled musicians that it's hypnotizing to watch. So pairing them up with like Nickel Creek naturally brings the house down.

8) Allison Krauss & Robert Plant--"Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us"
Love love love this haunting song. Fun fact: it was originally by Sam Phillips, who did the music for Gilmore Girls! I love her version of the song as well. Both are very autumn-y.

9) Garrison Keillor & Meryl Streep (From the A Prairie Home Companion soundtrack)--"Gold Watch and Chain"
I am not a huge fan of the Prairie Home Companion radio show (I always come in during the middle and never have any clue what's going on), but for some reason I adore the movie. It's full of great music, but this song is particularly charming.

10) John Tsifliklis & His band (From the My Big Fat Greek Wedding soundtrack)--"Οραία Που Είναι η Νύφη Μας"
Autumn makes me think of many things, one of them being the annual Greek Festival in Tucson! I haven't been able to go for the past couple of years, which makes me sad. But luckily I still have incredible Greek music to keep me company instead.

Friday, October 28, 2011

I Only Have Eyes For You

I honestly forgot how much I love performing. I don't know how I let myself go so long without it.

Hanging out backstage, doing my makeup, warming up in the wings,
taking that deep breath just before the lights come up, getting lost in
movement, and taking off all my makeup after the show.

I love it all.

What a fantastic experience this Undergrad Concert has been!

Take As Directed
Choreography and Performance by: Katy Callie
Lighting Design: Katy Callie and Cari Koch
Costume, Makeup and Set Design: Katy Callie
Music: I Only Have Eyes for You, by The Flamingos

“She could always keep busy during the day, and at night—the lonely ones—there were always the beautiful dolls for company. She’d take two of them tonight. Why not?”
Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

Take As Directed tells the story of a life that has been completely dominated by prescription medication, and the feeling of being yanked around by doctors and side effects. It also explores elements of self-injury and depression.

Certain things get lost in this video, such as facial expressions, movement dynamics like shaking, and makeup design. But you get the gist of it. And here’s an interesting tidbit...It states in the program that “This piece contains adult content.” Hm. Guess I really freaked everyone out.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Don't Be Olivier

Two more dancers dropped out of my Transition Project after I sent out an email saying if they can't make it to rehearsal, then they can't be in the piece. So now I only have four dancers including myself. It's not what I wanted (Ideally I wanted 8 dancers), but it's a relief to know that the three other dancers I have are fully committed to the process and actually show up to rehearsals!

However, it's tough adjusting my vision for 8 dancers to a cast half that size. That, combined with the choreography block I'm currently having (not quite at Guido Contini* level, but getting there), has made me really worried about where the piece is heading. I was feeling really glum today after rehearsal, because we have so much to do before adjudications in late November and I'm struggling to get the choreography out of me. And I was just bummed that my cast is so small.

Then tonight, I had an epiphany. This is like my Olivier from Project Runway moment. Olivier is a sizeist prick who basically "hates dressing fat people," and repeatedly blamed his bigger-sized models instead of owning up to his own mistakes. I realized that I'm kind of pulling an Olivier here. I could either bitch about my small cast and let that hinder the process, or I could suck it up and make it work. I'm working with what I've got, which might not be my original vision, but it's what I have. So I'm going to make it awesome instead of whining about it. Plus, my three dancers are lovely and I'm lucky to have them. So there! Enough whining! I'd rather shoot myself than turn into Olivier.

Lots more to report, but I'm very sleepy and about to turn in. More later.

*Guido Contini is the lead character in Nine. He's a filmmaker who has the worst case of writer's block on the planet, and it basically destroys him. It's painful to watch. So whenever I'm struggling with choreography block, I rate how desperate the situation is according to how close I am to feeling like Guido.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

When In Rome

There are many artists I listen to that are perfect for autumn, but I think my favorite has to be Nickel Creek. There's just something about their brand of folksy bluegrass deliciousness that feels like autumn to me. I've been listening to them on a loop recently as I feel the weather slowly change. I think When in Rome might be my favorite song from them.

I've been going to Skateland almost every day to practice for roller derby tryouts (4 days!). The staff knows me now, to the point where the guy at the skate rental stand saw me coming today and immediately brought out a pair of size nine speed skates for me. D'aww. I love being a regular. It's tough to skate at a rink, only because there are so many people there and the majority are kids who are all kinds of unstable on skates. But maybe that's a blessing in disguise, because I'm practicing my dodging skills by skating around them! I'm getting the hang of roller skating (not an easy transition after years of ice and inline skating) and building my endurance more and more each day. I know that roller derby training is going to kick my ass, so I'm trying to build up as much strength as possible so if and when I make the team, I'll be at least a little bit ready. I hope I make it!! It's a huge commitment and also very dangerous, but I think it'll all be worth it. This is where my heart is leading me right now, and I'm looking forward to potentially trying something new and meeting lots of new people.

Still plodding along in school. I continue to struggle with staying awake in the morning, which is so frustrating. Tomorrow I'm going to try waking up earlier. It may seem counterintuitive, but maybe having more time in the morning to wake up will help? Ugh, I don't know. I really hate the way I feel in the morning. I envy early birds who pop out of bed like Julia Child in Julie & Julia ("I'm UP!"). I'm like a zombie, and I stay that way for a couple hours. Bleh.

My transition project is a bit of a hot mess right now. I've had so many problems with casting and absences (very reminiscent of Sweet Charity, ughh). So we're way behind and it's really frustrating. I did a bit of firm housekeeping, though, and I'm hoping that things will run smoother from now on. Pray that no one else drops out!! Also, I just launched a Kickstarter project to raise money--check it out and feel free to donate! Any little bit, even $1, helps tremendously. I'm hoping to raise $500 to cover costumes, props and copyright fees primarily. All that stuff is expensive!

And that's pretty much all that's going on at the moment. Apartment is still awesome, kitty is still awesome, I'm hanging in there.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Things I Love Thursday

I've seen people do this on other blogs, and I decided to copy them. :)
Here are ten things I've been loving lately...

1) THE WEATHER. Holy wow, the weather this week has been unbelievable! My favorite times of year are the "mish-mash" seasons, meaning the days in between the major seasons. Arizona does mish-mash incredibly well. The between-summer-and-falls and between-winter-and-springs are absolutely perfect.

2) Whip It. I have roller derby on the brain. I'm trying out for the Arizona Derby Dames next Sunday, and it's practically all I've thought about this week. Whip It has definitely been my inspirational movie that gets me all pumped up and ready to kick ass.

3) Skateland Chandler. It is vastly superior to Skateland Mesa, that's for sure. I love going there to practice for derby tryouts, even with all the screaming children. The staff is really nice and the skates they rent out are decent (they also rent speed skates which is perfect, since that'll be the type of skate I'll be using for derby if I get on the team). I highly recommend it if you're in the area and ever feel like skating.

4) Ben Kingsley as Feste in Twelfth Night. I watched the Trevor Munn adaptation of the aforementioned play today, and enjoyed it. While everyone was brilliant (especially Imelda Staunton; girl has got some Shakespeare CHOPS), Ben Kingsley's Feste really stood out to me. He had that perfect mix of enigmatic and sharply witty. Lovelovelove.

5) All the homoerotic tension in Twelfth Night. It's so brilliant because there's all this sexual chemistry between Orsino and Cesario, but Cesario is actually the lady Viola in disguise! So it's homoerotic-but-then-again-not. Then Olivia falls in love with Cesario and there's all this chemistry between them, only Cesario is a lady! So it's actually quite homoerotic. Shakespeare, you are truly a genius!

6) Parks and Recreation. I seriously can not get enough of this show right now. I wasn't into it at first because the first season is a little too awkward for my tastes, but I stuck with it and the show really finds its legs in the second season and is just brilliant and hysterically funny!

7) Driving with my windows down. Since the weather has been stellar, this has been fantastic. Tonight I did it while sipping a hot cocoa in one hand. It was perfect.

8) My Transition Project class. I love seeing how everyone's projects are developing as well as giving and receiving feedback! The class flies by and we've been having some really great discussions. It's exciting and terrifying and I love every second.

9) Bridesmaids. I finally saw it and really enjoyed it! It wasn't what I expected, but I totally loved it nonetheless. I wanted to smack Helen in the face. And I'm so, so, so happy that Melissa McCarthy is getting so much recognition! She is a comedic genius and deserves every bit of fame she's acquired from Bridesmaids and Mike and Molly.

10) Breakfast at McDonald's. I'm really not a big fan of McDonald's food. I go there often to grab a drink since they're only a dollar, but tend to steer clear of the food. Except for breakfast. Their tasty, tasty breakfast. I live for Egg McMuffins as well as their Hotcakes!! Om nom nom. I can't figure out why it's so just is.

Friday, September 23, 2011

An Interesting Tidbit From Today...

Over the summer, while doing research for my transition project, I stumbled upon a clip from the film Are We Winning, Mommy? America & the Cold War. I'm interested in seeing the movie and using some audio from it in my project, but the latter requires copyright permission. I've scoured the internet looking for a way to buy it so I can watch it and get information on where to send copyright permissions, but it's an independent film and is really hard to find. So I spent like four hours yesterday trying to track down contact information for the director, Barbara Margolis (I totally felt like a stalker). Finally, I managed to find contact info for the production company that produced it, Cine Information. I decided to email them just for the hell of it, thinking that nothing would come of it.

Well today, I get an email from BARBARA MARGOLIS HERSELF. She said it was a pleasure to receive my email, and that she'd be open to letting me use audio from the film. She also gave me the contact information for the distributor so I can buy the DVD. Whaaaat! I seriously thought I was sending the email into an empty abyss and didn't think anything would come of it, let alone so promptly! I'm excited. :) It was definitely a bright spot in an otherwise shit-tastic week!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


We had a showing today in my Transition Project class, and I showed the material that I have thus far. Claudia, my professor, asked me where I was coming from with this piece--is it a spoof? Is it in earnest? Is it historical? These are some really important conceptual questions that I was happy to think about and answer.

I think that Duck & Cover is first and foremost a satire, with a touch of historical record. When we look back on the Red Scare and Cold War era, it seems so silly. So I want to satirize the silliness of that fear. But at the same time, there are frightening parallels between the fear-mongering then and the fear-mongering now, just with different contexts. There’s also a terrible precedent in history of hiding/getting rid of “undesirables”--Jews during the Holocaust, the Japanese in WWII, the Blacklisting of alleged Communists in the 50s, Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge and other racial cleansing/genocide, the segregation during the Civil Rights era. And now we have that same animosity towards Arabs and Muslims. I’ve been thinking a LOT about that lately. I want to comment on that in the piece, in a way that’s both satirical AND profound, and make the audience realize that the fear-mongering wasn’t just a thing of the past. It is still happening now.

Any thoughts on this??

Friday, September 2, 2011


Not too much to report, I guess. I'm two weeks into the semester. It's been going okay, just SO. EXHAUSTING. I think it'll (hopefully) get better once the weather changes. Schlepping around campus in 110 degree weather is difficult to say the least! I can't waaaait for fall.

Almost everything that's happening this semester scares the shit out of me. For one thing, I'm starting to piece together my senior project. And there are about a million things to keep track of...casting, costumes, lighting design, music (choosing songs/audio samples, editing, getting copyright permissions), rehearsals, choreography, AHH. I'm freaking out. But I have to remember that there are a lot of people around me who can help. My fabulous professor who teaches our class, our new badass technical director who is--no joke--a female body builder and gives amazing perspective and gets shit done, our production manager, and so on and so forth. I just have to suck it up and ask for help when I need it. My first rehearsal with my dancers (a cast which has yet to be solidified) is next Saturday. AHH.

In other scary news, we're required to spend nine sessions with a community dance initiative for my Creative Practices class. I'm participating in a project with South Mountain High School. This scares me because for some reason, community dance practice really makes me uncomfortable. No idea why. I guess it's because I don't have a ton of experience with it and am therefore totally out of my element. I had my first session with the project today, and it went alright. Scary as fuck, but I got through it.

The only way I'm able to deal with all this scariness is by remembering that I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE but to do these things. If I don't get my senior project together, I won't be able to graduate. If I don't do the nine community dance sessions, I fail the class. There's no other option but to just DO IT. And there's really no safety net and no turning back. So...yeah. Terrifying.

In non-school news, I'm an auntie again! My sister had her baby the other day. Little Patrick (Paddy for short) is adorable and I can't wait to meet him. Yay!

And that's about it. Time to enjoy the bejesus out of my three day weekend after an incredibly long week! I leave you with a Red Scare inspiration board....remember to duck and cover!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Thus Far...

The first two days of school have come and gone, and I somehow made it through. It was so weird starting on a Thursday...but I guess it was nice to only have two days of class before the weekend! I miraculously woke up at around 7 AM each day, and had time to eat breakfast and take my time getting ready for the day. Eating a good breakfast with a cup of coffee, as well as snacking between classes, helped significantly in getting through the day. Particularly on my 9:45 AM - 5 PM days. But it wasn't just food that got me through; I think I'm starting to feel somewhat "normal" again (knock on wood). By that, I mean it wasn't like pulling teeth to get through the day. I did have moments in class where I was struggling, but that's to be expected. And trudging around campus in the heat wasn't easy either. But I was actually able to do it all, which was a huge relief. Next week will be the true test of how the rest of the semester is going to go, however. We'll see if I can get through an entire week of classes. I think I can, as long as I keep taking care of myself.

I'm excited about my classes! I'm taking Modern, Ballet, Transition Projects (our senior capstone class), 3rd Year Creative Practices (which focuses on community dance; I'm taking it to make up for the semester I missed), and a Shakespeare class. It feels so great to be dancing with all my favorite ASU students and teachers again. And I'm especially excited about the Shakespeare class! My teacher rules. Which is so great...a class can be ruined so easily by a boring teacher. But our teacher is really funny and, more importantly, passionate and enthusiastic about the material which makes his lectures fun to listen to. And I love that his favorite Shakespeare play is Cymbeline. Such an out-of-the-ordinary choice. We'll be reading that later this semester. We have a ton of reading to do each week, but hopefully I can handle it.

I'm nervous about my capstone class, mostly because adjudications for the senior project concert are in NOVEMBER. That's in like five seconds. Meaning I have to get my project together enough to be adjudicated by then...Gahh. Luckily, I've been researching and brainstorming all summer on the idea I'm thinking of pursuing: a piece about the Red Scare and Cold War tentatively called Duck & Cover. I've always been obsessed with that era, and especially with Soviet propaganda, so I think it'll be a meaty subject to choreograph about. I just hope I can get everything together in time for adjudications.

I'm really enjoying living alone so far. My apartment is cozy and the complex is really nice. Living alone is by nature a little lonely, but in a good way. It's so nice to come home to my own space and not have to deal with being around people. It's peaceful and very liberating. Plus my amazing kitty is always around to keep me company! I'm still getting settled in and STILL have cleaning to do at Jonathan's (starting school kind of had me sidetracked), but hopefully I'll be all done by the time Kaylene comes to visit next week. :)

That's about it for now. I'm leaving you with a snippet from an anti-Communist propaganda film that I discovered on YouTube while doing research for Duck & Cover...hopefully it'll teach you how to sniff out those evil Commies!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


It just hit me tonight that school is starting in a couple of days. I'm kind of freaking out. I really can't stomach fucking up another semester. I desperately need it to go well. Or, if it truly feels that I'm not meant to be in school anymore, I at least want to make it through the semester. I don't want to randomly disappear in the middle. I'm sick of that.

I think the main thing I'm scared of is keeping up with self-care. On Monday/Wednesday/Friday, my schedule basically has me in class from 9:45 AM to 5 PM. Echh. Granted, I have hour or so breaks inbetween each class, but still. On days like that, I need to be sure to eat breakfast and have lunch and snacks and enough water packed to get me through the day and keep my energy up. I'm scared that I'll fall behind on taking care of myself, and then it'll just snowball until I'm a complete mess all over again. As I said before, I really can't stomach that happening. Fortunately, My Tuesday/Thursdays are much less daunting, as I only have two classes and am out by 2:45. Hopefully I'll be able to recharge on those days.

Aghhh. I'm still nervous, though. :/

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Moving Day!

Today is the day! I'm sitting here all awkward while the movers load all my stuff into the truck. I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to be doing. So I thought I'd write.

My poor Ragnar kitty was scared shitless when the movers arrived! As I knew he would be. He ran up on the counter and tried to hide behind the stuff on top of the fridge, which didn't work out too well. He finally ran into the back room and I shut the door so he could freak out in peace.

Even though today is moving day, I still have a couple of small boxes that aren't fully packed yet, like toiletries and kitchen stuff. But they're light enough that I can schlep them over by myself later. Then there's a lot of stuff in the garage that is all going to be recycled or going to Goodwill, and I have to pack that up and get rid of it. Then there's a massive amount of cleaning to be done before I'm officially moved out. So I've got a good few days of work left here. But at least I'll have the majority of my stuff over at the new place, ready to be unpacked. My goal is to be completely settled in by the time school starts.

The movers are just about ready to go, so I'll sign off for now. Think happy, efficient thoughts for the cleaning/unpacking process!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Tangent Triptych

I) So much packiiiiiiing. The worst part of moving. I have about a billion of those small banker boxes packed (I refuse to subject movers to a huge box full of books) and I'm only about halfway done. Aghh. It'll all be worth it, though. I have to keep remembering that.

II) Today I put together my dining room table. It was a stubborn little bugger, but I DID IT. And it looks supercute. Take that, you tricky IKEA Swedes! You can't fool me! I've discovered that putting together furniture yourself is both infuriating as all hell and completely satisfying at the same time.

III) My Mom and I unpacked all the little appliances we bought and the stuff I got for my birthday. My kitchen already looks like a kitchen! Only it doesn't have food in it yet. Ha. But at least it looks cute!

And that's about all I can muster right now. I'm a sleepy girl who has lots more packing to do tomorrow. *sleepy wave*

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Movin' On Up

I got my keys today! And I got to see my apartment. I was worried that mine wouldn't be as cute as the unit I saw on the tour, but I was wrong to worry because it's ADORABLE. Cute little living room and dining room, cute little kitchen, cute little everything! I'm so excited to get all my stuff in there and start unpacking and decorating. The rest of the day was spent buying and putting together a coffee table and TV stand from IKEA. I usually suck at putting things together, but it actually wasn't too bad at all! The only bad thing is that the coffee table ended up being bigger than the TV stand and it looks a bit awkward...oops. I'll figure out what to do about that later this week. Tomorrow my Mama and I are heading back to IKEA to buy bigger furniture like a sofa and dining room table, and then possibly head to Target to get some kitchen stuff (I got a lot of sweet kitchen stuff for my birthday, but still need a few appliances like a blender, coffee maker, etc).

Woo-hoo! I'm so exciiiiited. I'm trying to fall asleep, but I'm too antsy. I keep thinking about stuff to do and lists to make and flipping through decorating ideas.

In other news, I stopped by the new Oregano's that's opening up in south Tempe to drop off an application. Unfortunately, they already hired enough people for the opening. Damn it! But the manager said that they may need more people in about a month. I'm crossing my fingers that they hire me then, because I reeeeally need a job. I had fun filling out the application; I hope they get a kick out of my responses. One of the questions asked about the funniest thing that's ever happened to you--I chose the time I fell down in an elevator full of people at IKEA while wearing a skirt! Bahaha. It was fun to reminisce about that shining moment in my life.

Whaaaat a day. And it's only the beginning. LOT'S to do before the movers come on Saturday!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Antsiness and Earlybird Daydreams

I'm ridiculously antsy.

There are all these big things coming up soon--getting my keys, moving into my apartment, starting classes, and potentially getting a job. But the dates for all these things are approaching at a snail's pace. I just bought a lovely new planner for the upcoming school year (I'm obsessed with planners!) and I keep opening it; staring at and touching the pages as if that will make time go by faster. I'm going crazy just waiting! I want all these things to hurry up and HAPPEN! I want my keys so I can start decorating! I want the movers to come so I can settle in! I want classes to start so I can have more things to do and jot down in my planner! I want a job so I can have some semblance of financial stability! But even waiting a day to get my keys feels painful.

Aghhh. HURRY UP! I'm losing my mind waiting around!

I've been daydreaming about the upcoming school year. Over the past couple of weeks, I've been going to bed early and therefore drifting awake early. Waking up early gives you so much TIME. So much that I don't even know what to do with it at this point. I'm hoping that I'll be able to wake up early once school starts so I can get some things done in the morning. I have fantasies of doing early morning yoga, of watching Disney movies and sitting down to a breakfast of half a grapefruit with a poached egg, toast and coffee, of going for a swim before class, of taking morning epsom salt baths (I just read an article about a dancer who does this every day to warm up her muscles for the day ahead). It all sounds so amazing. I'm praying that I'll actually be able to do it instead of oversleeping and rushing to class out of breath. For once I'd like to feel well-fed, warmed up and generally prepared for classes. Send earlybird vibes, pleeeease!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Where's my Marshmallow Shooter?

I've been completing various tasks over the past couple of days in preparation for my upcoming move. I got renter's insurance, paid all my move-in fees, set up my water account, and scoped out cable/internet prices (which are absurdly expensive). Today I went down to SRP and set up utilities in my name. Then I signed my lease! I'm pretty much all set to get my keys! Which I'll be doing on Monday, and then the movers come next Saturday. So I'll have the week to shop for furniture and pack. SO. EXCITED. I was so overwhelmed when my complex handed me this daunting list of scary tasks to do, but I managed to do them all. And on my own. AHH. It doesn't sound like a big deal, I know, but you have to understand that I basically don't know how to do shit. So it's a big deal to me. I kind of feel all adult-like. Except I'm a fraud, because a real adult would have a job by now, which I don't. Although there is a new Oregano's opening up in Tempe, so maybe I'll apply there? Who knows.
I've been devouring Parks and Recreation lately. That show is a little tough to get into because the first season is a bit awkward, but then it takes off and becomes ridiculously hilarious! I highly recommend it. There are so many moments when I had to pause it because I was laughing so hard! Anyway, I watched an episode today where two of the characters are essentially taught how to be adults. But at Bed, Bath and Beyond, they totally buy a marshmallow shooter along with all their home gadgets. That's more my style! After a day of adult-like tasks, I'm ready to do something silly like buy a marshmallow shooter for equilibrium.


Saturday, July 30, 2011

Soul Sister

I lovelovelove Patsy Cline. And I love listening to and singing along with her music, particularly in the morning or while driving. She gets me. (Plus her outfits are beyond fabulous.)

I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted,
and then someday you'd leave me for somebody new.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Love Is A Losing Game

I understand that Amy Winehouse had a lot of problems. She drank heavily and did drugs, she was belligerent, she was an addict. And I understand that there are a myriad of ugly things happening around the world that we should be concerned about and that something like a celebrity death may seem trivial in comparison. I understand all that. But I don't give a damn. She was one of my all-time favorite singers...I can't describe how much her music has meant to me. And despite her problems, she did NOT deserve to die. No one deserves that. I'm sick of hearing shit like that, how "if you play with fire you'll get burnt," "she shouldn't have said no to rehab, heh heh heh" and so on. This is like my Kurt Cobain, and I don't feel bad about grieving for her. I loved her music. Her voice and her lyrics helped me through a whole lot, and I'm so sad that she'll never release another incredible album. Rest in Peace, crazy girl. I love you.

My Favorite Amy Songs:

Friday, July 22, 2011

Not much to say lately.

"I'm on the edge of something final we call life tonight."

Saturday, July 9, 2011

A Hollowed-Out Shell

Living in the dorms, the UA Student Union, my friends who don't live in AZ, theater, choreographing shows, choreographing contemporary work, Todd's class, my TDC friends, Chocolate Iguana, 4th Avenue, studying foreign languages, Beyond Bread, the "Brilliance" gang, high school, being a theater groupie, Ms. Oden's class, stealing popcorn and soda from Govern, star parties, Winterhaven, living with Justine and Wendy, having a big room, TV on DVD marathons with Kay, The Loft, The Providence Institute, being thinner, Prom and other excuses to wear a fancy gown, the darkroom at Tucson High, being a senior, my 18th birthday (best ever), going on aimless drives with Derek, breaking bottles at Gates Pass, driving around in the Hammer yelling at sorority girls and frat guys, always having friends being a phone call or a walk away, Dr. Soren's classes, being healthy (or at least kind of healthy), scar-less arms and legs, talking to Steve.


"That's an impossibility. Trying to forget anything as intriguing as this would be an exercise in futility."
--Pulp Fiction

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Cold War

Bring wings to the weak and bring grace to the strong
May all evil stumble as it flies in the world.
All the tribes come and the mighty will crumble
We must brave this night and have faith in love.


I love updating my website. I love writing my dance blog. I love putting promotional press-kit type packages together with my resume, demo DVD, references, business card, etc. and sending them to theaters. I love doing my work. I just need to find a way to actually get paid for that work more often. I'm pretty sure Sweet Charity scarred me for life. I feel like ever since we barely made it through that production process, I've forgotten how to do my job. And I forgot how it feels to NOT have to hold a show together with both hands. I am terrified of that happening again. I can't get over the fear that Sweet Charity instilled in me long enough to even think about sending out my DVD to theaters and asking them for jobs.

Another thing that keeps me from promoting myself is school. It is incredibly difficult for me to work on a show full-time while being in school full-time as well, as I found out the hard way with Ragtime and Sweet Charity. I'm trying to figure out how and if I should get back into choreographing musicals, and school is a major factor in that decision. While I get fantastic on-the-job training, working in theater often derails my school process. I start putting off school stuff to catch up on theater stuff, I don't spend time on campus, I don't focus on creating contemporary work or performing in pieces because I'm already too busy. It's just not possible to balance both. If all goes to plan, I should be graduating in three semesters. But that's a hell of a long time to go without being in theater. Plus there are some amazing shows going on next season that I would love to choreograph. I can't wear myself too thin again, but I also don't like having to choose between school and theater. I'm so confused. Meh. But I suppose there are things I can do in the meantime to keep up with theater people, like getting my dance-class-for-actors thing off the ground. I think I found a good space for it; I just need to inquire about pricing and scheduling and whatnot.

In other news, I finally went to the SRC today (ASU's rec center). I've been meaning to go forever, but have NOT had the energy or motivation. Today I dragged myself there and did 25 minutes on the bike and swam 12 lengths in the pool. I'm SO rusty and out of shape, and am now ridiculously sore. But I did it. It was like pulling teeth, but I did it. I feel kind of silly for being proud of myself...but I really haven't been able to do much of anything until now so it's a bit of a big deal for me.

After I got home, I hopped in the shower and then painted my nails a beautiful deep shade of fuschia. It's about the same shade that I want to dye my hair when I go to my cut and color appointment this weekend! It's time for pink hair. I don't care if it further impairs my ability to get a job. There are some places that would embrace a freaky girl with freaky hair, and hopefully they'll hire me. But this is something I've wanted to do forever and if I don't do it now, I probably never will. Pink hair, ahoy!

You would think I'd feel happy on nights like this. Content. But all I really feel is lonely. I hate that.

That's all for now. I'm currently curled up with wine and Inglourious Basterds (by myself). Bon soir.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011