Obsessions, Pt II

More things I am obsessed with:

Blending juxtaposing periods/genres/styles, etc.
Torture methods
Villains
Chair dances
The sound of high heels clicking on hard floors
Possession/Exorcism
Gestures
Vintage Propaganda (especially Soviet)
Dr. Cox & Jordan from Scrubs
Synchronization
Emily Gilmore from Gilmore Girls
Kelly Bishop outside of Gilmore Girls
Psychosomatic pain
Snow/cold weather
Moonlight Sonata
Desert autumn
East Coast autumn
Chocolate
Minnesota winter
The Donner Party
Talent
Dancers with high arches
Hula hoops
Skip-Its
Israeli contemporary dance
Bodies
Pinup Girls
"I Saw You" personal ads
Maria Celeste (Galileo's daughter)
Bob Fosse
Busby Berkeley
Catholicism
Natalie Portman
Burlesque
Vaudeville/Riverboat Shows
Minstrel Shows
The Moon
The 1812 Overture
Music from The Nutcracker
Doctor Who
Saturn
Tension
Movie trailers
Concert conductors
Zoe Bell
Stars/stargazing
Audrey Hepburn
Rhett Butler
Andre 3000
Sign language
Scarves
Masks
Smoke/Fog
The same story told from different points of view
Philip Glass on solo piano
Georgia--especially their accents
Quentin Tarantino movies
Poets--classic, contemporary, slam
Meryl Streep
Rope
Writers
Twinkle lights
Susan Orlean's writing style
Painters
Photographers
Francesca Lia Block
Michelle Pfieffer
Little eccentricities/quirks
Katharine Hepburn
Spelling
Black
Suicide
Emily Blunt
Ingrid Magnussen from White Oleander

Obsessions, Pt I

I was looking through old journals tonight, and I found a long list of my obsessions. I read in a Natalie Goldberg book about writing that it's good to keep a list of your obsessions, as it'll serve as writing inspiration when you can't think of a topic. So I listed them like crazy. It was fun reading over the list, and I'm still obsessed with basically everything on it.

So here are some things I'm obsessed with:

Chandeliers
Anachronisms
Glass bottles
The sound of shattering glass
Masculinity
Morticia & Gomez Addams
Idiosyncratic love songs
Mirrors
Breakdowns
Fleurs de lis
Eye contact/stares
Ella Fitzgerald
Different versions of the same song
Flawless ballerinas
Hands
Shoulders
Backs
Lyrics
Quotations
Poetry
Strippers
Prostitutes
Brothels
Eyes
Tattoos
Shiva
Art deco
Gender roles
Waiting
Singers who sing with their ENTIRE BODY
Silence
Screaming
Foreign languages
Anthropology
Russia
Addiction
Sex
Color
Black & White
Dreams/Dream Interpretation
Long strands of pearls
Id, Ego, Superego
Alter-egos
Gold makeup
Black & White makeup
Falling
Umbrellas
Desert rain
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Feet (looking, NOT touching)
Breathing
Audible breath
Fear
Percussion
Musicians
Portraits
Water
Death
Grief

I'll continue with the rest of the list tomorrow. :) You should list your obsessions...it's fun! And even more fun to look back on. I feel like it reveals a lot about oneself.

Something, Somewhere

I really thought I had a pretty good idea of where I wanted to be in a couple of years. I wanted to graduate obviously, then stick around for a year or two to work, build my resume, and save money. Then I was going to pack up all my stuff and my cat, and move to New York City where I would choreograph musicals...and win awards...and get drunk with Susan Stroman on a regular basis. (Okay, I'm exaggerating. But not about the choreographing musicals part.) The fact that living in New York City is ridiculously difficult only made me want it more. I was all set with a basic pathway.

Now I don't know where I'm going anymore. I'm wondering if I really will end up in New York. Recently, my mind has drifted off to wondering about going abroad instead. To London, Edinburgh, or Dublin. (Probably London or Edinburgh if anything, since I have basic knowledge of the arts scene there...whereas I don't know much about the scene in Dublin. I just know that I LOVE IRELAND.)

But there are problems with moving abroad. For one thing, I can't really fathom the logistics of an international, transatlantic move. I was having enough trouble figuring out how I was going to move across the country, let alone how to move to a completely different continent. I emailed an acquaintance of mine who recently moved to London and asked her to share her experience moving abroad. Based on her reply, I realized that I'd have to sell or give away basically everything I own and start over. Figure out visas and insurance and bank accounts and cell phone plans. And I have absolutely no idea how my kitty would fare on a long flight to Europe. But that will definitely be figured out, because there's no way I'm not taking him with me.

The fact that I'm honestly not sure if I even want to choreograph musicals anymore or if I'm cut out for it also complicates things significantly. But that's a whole other topic, I guess.

Not knowing where I'm going is causing me so much anxiety. While my future plans have definitely evolved over the years--I've cycled through wanting to own a dance company, to travel and study dance around the world, to be a freelance contemporary choreographer, to choreograph musicals--I've always had a basic idea of where I would go. This is probably the first time in many years that I have absolutely NO plans, and no idea what the future holds. I really, really hate that.

But at least Rory Gilmore felt the same way.