Monday, November 14, 2011

Awake at 2 AM

Why do people think I'm capable of pulling off even the most basic of human tasks? I'm seriously drowning here. And not like normal-end-of-the-semester drowning, but like I've-fucked-everything-up-for-the-millionth-time drowning. Isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same behavior over and over again expecting different results?? Clearly I've gone insane because I keep doing the same shit repeatedly and expect things to change. And of course they never do. I'm never going to graduate. I'm never going to get a job. My senior project is a mess. I'm never going to make it out of this stagnant place that I'm in. I can't do anything. I really wish people would understand that.

And on top of everything, I can't sleep. I've got a full day tomorrow of class, rehearsal, and a paper to write. I'm exhausted but I can't fall asleep. Oh well. Tomorrow will just be one more thing that I fuck up.

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