Don't Be Olivier

Two more dancers dropped out of my Transition Project after I sent out an email saying if they can't make it to rehearsal, then they can't be in the piece. So now I only have four dancers including myself. It's not what I wanted (Ideally I wanted 8 dancers), but it's a relief to know that the three other dancers I have are fully committed to the process and actually show up to rehearsals!

However, it's tough adjusting my vision for 8 dancers to a cast half that size. That, combined with the choreography block I'm currently having (not quite at Guido Contini* level, but getting there), has made me really worried about where the piece is heading. I was feeling really glum today after rehearsal, because we have so much to do before adjudications in late November and I'm struggling to get the choreography out of me. And I was just bummed that my cast is so small.

Then tonight, I had an epiphany. This is like my Olivier from Project Runway moment. Olivier is a sizeist prick who basically "hates dressing fat people," and repeatedly blamed his bigger-sized models instead of owning up to his own mistakes. I realized that I'm kind of pulling an Olivier here. I could either bitch about my small cast and let that hinder the process, or I could suck it up and make it work. I'm working with what I've got, which might not be my original vision, but it's what I have. So I'm going to make it awesome instead of whining about it. Plus, my three dancers are lovely and I'm lucky to have them. So there! Enough whining! I'd rather shoot myself than turn into Olivier.



Lots more to report, but I'm very sleepy and about to turn in. More later.

*Guido Contini is the lead character in Nine. He's a filmmaker who has the worst case of writer's block on the planet, and it basically destroys him. It's painful to watch. So whenever I'm struggling with choreography block, I rate how desperate the situation is according to how close I am to feeling like Guido.