Monday, August 16, 2010

Street Lights

I really can't be 100% sure about this until classes actually start on Thursday, but I have a feeling that graduating college is something that is just not going to happen for me. Part of me is still fiercely hanging onto the idea of staying in school even though it makes me miserable most of the time. I'm waiting for that part to let go. I'm also waiting for the day when I can forgive myself for feeling like this, because right now all I feel is guilt. So much money wasted--both on tuition at the UA and ASU, and for many flights/hotel stays during BFA much money, it's disgusting. And so much time wasted; my time, my teachers' time. Again, I can't be 100% sure about this until I see how this semester feels and I talk to some people. But I went to ASU today for an advising session and have another one tomorrow; it's not looking good. I just don't think it's going to happen.

"Let me know...
Do I still got time to grow?
Things ain't always set in stone.
That be known, let me know. Let me--
Seems like streetlights, glowing,
happen to be just like
moments passing in front of me
so I hopped in the cab and,
I paid my fare;
See, I know my destination,
But I'm just not there..."
--Street Lights, Kanye West

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