Thursday, May 26, 2011

Blurred Blue

I remember when I was a little girl, I was toddling around the pool. I had a toy broom with me, and was dipping it in the water and drawing designs on the deck as if the broom were a paintbrush. All of a sudden, I fell in. I couldn't swim at the time, so I sank. I have a kinesthetic memory of looking up and seeing the blue water and the backyard blurred by the surface. One of my sisters dove in and pulled me out. I was lucky. I grew up in a big house with lots of people swirling around all the time.

The other night I was sitting in my room by myself. All the brouhaha about the supposed Rapture on May 21st may have been silly, but you have to admit it got you thinking. What would we do if the world ended? Or in a massive disaster? If the world ended right now, I'd be all alone. I would sink, seeing the world above blurred by chaos and destruction. But I would keep sinking; there would be no one to pull me out. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm a solitary creature, yes...I don't mind being by myself most of the time. But if the world ended right now, I don't want to be alone. I'd want someone with me to be scared with, to die with.

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